Inbetween - in the middle of two things or places.
It's such a complex place to be.
There are residual feelings of nostalgia and relief from the place before, and excitement and anticipation for whats next.
I am inbetween jobs.
People sometimes say that when they don't know where they are going to next. It's a fancy way of saying "I'm jobless" or "I haven't figured out what I'm going to do next". Well I guess that state is complex on it's own as well.
But that's not my case (luckily? ;) )
I know where I am going to next. And I'm going there tomorrow.
But this past month - the notice period has been interesting to put it mildly.
Being in an organization, one that involves excessive community travelling time, for 3 years no less (!) is pretty much like having a new family or being at college ... there is a community you belong to, identify with and get attached to. So suddenly having to leave that - to me felt like I was cheating on a boy friend. Like I told him I'm leaving him for someone else - who I haven't been with yet, but I'm giving both of us a period of time to organize our lives for the change that is to come. (While the new boyfriend conatantly checks up for info and confirmations)
So so so complex and confusing its been.
Am I over reacting? Maybe. I don't know.
The last time I was inbetween jobs, I left the job to finish the project for my M.Sc and had a lot of time for myself. So it was very different. I was just leaving a job. Not for another job.
Another phace of this mildly emotionally roller coaster-y month were those random occassional thoughts of "What if they suddenly change their minds?" (I have never done this job switching thing before! )
All together, it was, in retrospect, a happening and fun month. I will terribly miss so many people and aspects of my old life - three years of spending thirteen hours a day with those people and working there is more than just a job surely! - but I do look forward to whats to come.
I am now inbetween what was and what would be
The familiar and the possibilities
Inbetween the tears blinked away while saying goodbye and the heartbeats of a new beginning!
Until tomorrow :)