Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Would you jump in the well, if he did?!


Man is a social animal.

We live in a world where people do the strangest weirdest things, because the society does it/ expects it of them/ appreciates it. A world where becoming an army man is seen as a thing of pride, when in actuality it is essentially standing in the line of fire. (I don’t have anything against soldiers, mind you. Because I live in a world, where one is taught to respect and admire soldiers.)

We live in a world where starvation, for as little a motivator as being thin – to fulfill the warped society’s idea of good looking , is practiced by many women, and quite a few men. Starvation, even if it sometimes leads to death. Actions that go against the most primary of instinct of self preservation. We would even go to that extent, for somebody else. Somebody who has no relation or connection to us!

A society need not be a continent, or even a nation. A society can be as few as 100 or even 10 people, who proclaim a certain culture and set of beliefs. Any group, which creates its own laws/ rules/ guidelines, no matter how detrimental to the persons of the society itself, that it might be.

So the next time, you think you’re being clever by asking “would you jump in the well, if he did?”

Well, if him, and her, and them too,

I would probably already be in the damned queue!

P.S: This is not a rage/ rebellion against any society/ group. As the author, I completely also agree that societies aid in the hum developmental and civilization process hugely, and do appreciate them. This is just merely an alternative line of thought.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Crazy Wishlist for the adult in me $_$

For various absolutely unbelieavable reasons, I didn't post a birthday wishlist this year.
The birthday turned out to be pretty awesome, and I got amazing gifts anyway! :)
However, wishlists are there for a reason - for something to work toward or something to dream about. And so here is the next tist, after quite a while - the dream list for the next 5 years! 
  1. Complete wood workshop – Wood work tools like cutting machine, grinding machine, driller, sanding machine. Wood! The nails, hammer, saw, leveler, and the array of hand tools. Glue, gloves and could you throw in a glue gun too? :P
  2. Personalized library embosser : That Says “From the Library of Jenny Sarto”, with my logo inside an open book icon
  3. A sleek vacuum cleaner. With long reach nozzles.
  4. The cake batter mixer – yes that
  5. Vegetable processor – designed by the vegetable God’s own offspring!
  6. Batter dispenser
  7. Waffle maker (Yes, a lot of food related stuff I know :P)
  8. A Home theatre system – for obvious reasons 0:)
  9. Motorized sewing and embroidery machine
  10. And finally …tons of time to use all of these things :D

Friday, July 3, 2015

Just a girl

I’m a girl. And I’ve never considered being a girl a weakness. I’m a feminist, I know that us girls still have to fight for many things that boys/ men take completely for granted. It could be as basic as safety, or as complex as the glass ceiling. But I’ve considered myself a fighter. Who’s believed that if we fight, we can get what should be our rights.

The fight is harder in conservative countries like India, where comments like “You’re a grown girl now”, “A girl should be home before it gets dark”, or “This is not America” are common, even in a comparatively open minded household like mine – where it isn’t expected of me or my sister to follow any dress code/ where girls drinking was not seen as cringe worthy fault/ where I am encouraged to be fully independent, work for my own living and be as self sufficient as possible. 
Even in those situations, whenever those comments came up, I fought it. Or so I thought I did.

Till recently, I noticed, actually took a moment to stop and notice, some of my choices.

I wasn’t changing jobs, as it would make it easier to quit and move/ or quit and stay at home as required – after the wedding.

I was resisting looking for higher paying jobs, or even taking up extra assignments internally – to ensure my promotion, as that would mean that the guy I find/ found for me should earn that much more than me.

I didn’t pursue my Ph.D because already it’s difficult to find many men who have a masters. A doctrate would make it almost impossible.

I wasn’t buying a car because A. It’s a huge investment, money that could be used for the wedding! B. I don’t know where I would be settling. C. Families don’t prefer women who have a debt (loan), so that would fall upon my father to close it before the wedding and finally D. Having a car would mean the guy, once again, would have to have a better car. Or at least a car of equal standard.

Sounds crazy?

Or a bit too familiar?

I’m guessing that it’s probably the latter for quite a few single women out there. Unfortunately.

I’ve heard serious stories about marriages where the lady was doing better professionally – and consequently, had to suffer domestically. The fact that they earned and contributed more monetarily in the house hold did nothing to reduce the pressure of doing/ supervising the domestic work as well, and not to mention dealing with the bruised ego of the husband. This is the case even when both parties are earning almost equally. Don’t get me started on when the baby arrives!

I’m also hearing a lot from older women who say “I want a stay at home wife for my son. I want him to be properly taken care of” Why? Are the men not supposed to take care of the wives through any way other than by cash and kind?

All these later points, I repeat quite frequently, and vehemently – especially to my colleagues. Working in a largely male dominated company, I’ve heard much too many times, even from those junior to me, that “You’ll probably quit when you get married right?” I refuse of course. But I’m never completely sure about that.

It is still expected that the lady should be able to have suspended life plans, should live by the life plans of the guy or at least more by his than hers.

I fought it. But not completely apparently.

But, I’m 27 now, been an adult long enough to know that I’m not ready for some compromises anymore. My life plans will not be put on hold for a stranger any longer.

I’m getting a new car tomorrow.

I’ll find a better job soon.

I’m getting published shortly.

I am my own person.

I’m not just a girl anymore.

I’m A girl.