Best Laid Plans

I have a swing in my veranda... a one seater, hanging by an iron link chain kinda swing... I bought it like 2 years ago. And it's been more than a year since I actually used it.
I work in a smaller town 25 kms from where I live. I'm away from home a good 13 hrs a day - and that's just the time between leaving home and returning, not taking into consideration the getting ready time and the like.
Today, I got home early after a meeting. 2 hours early! The climate was perfect... it was just about to rain. The thunder rumbled in the sky, lightning streaked. I had a book I had begun just this morning. So it seemed like the perfect combination... I had enough time to take a quick shower by the time the rain got really going, and I would be there for the jam session.
I even had the first few lines of that post written in my head, as I gleefully got set for my rainy day swing reading session. Even my sister wasn't expected home for the next hour. I got out, and quickly dug out the book from my bag and I all my leap over to the swing.
Obviously, from the build up to the finale, you guessed that my amazing plan didn't go through.
I go out, to see my grandma quietly swinging and watching the rain. Of course I didn't have the heart to ask her if I could use the swing for a while. She just looked so peaceful.
So I went back in, and watched some more Grey's Anatomy.

Over the last 6 months, I've made so many plans and I've seen them all tumble and fail terribly and miserably. Big plans & small plans. The saddest thing I saw, physically felt, fall was my passion for this job. When I joined, I felt like it was the dream job. It was exactly what I had wanted. Too perfectly... in a Korean company. So it just could not have gotten better. I loved it for all of one year. I learnt so much from one boss. He left. I learnt a lot, despite the next boss. And then it slowly rolled to a stop.

Till one day in February, I actually felt the emptiness in it all. The complacence ..and the giving up.
Business was down, politics was raging like wild fire and I felt like collateral damage. I didn't have much work to do. I could meet my monthly targets in 4 days work. I'd known that industrial set ups don't have much work many times for the HR department, but this was a crazy low. But I stuck on...The pay was good. And I decided if they want to pay me for nothing, I will let them.
Feeling worthless... especially when ALL of one's time is invested in that thing can only go on for so long.

I'm now at a cross road... it's time to decide how to get to my next destination...since I already know what that is.

I can see that talking about a wonderful but tiny plan failing...and then about the bigger plans in life. It;s just that over this year I have learned to accept and even expect the pitfalls in the best laid plans. Especially the best laid plans.
So I have to keep my back up plans ready and roaring! :)

As always,
Someday's Dreamer


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