Friday, May 16, 2014

The first day

This is going to be a gruesome post. Definitely not for the faint hearted, or for those dainty men who like to tip toe around girl problems, and pretend they don't exist ~ or exist in an alternate reality where only women in pain are allowed. This is about my period pain.

Today is my first day. Bam, it started at 5:30.

Actually, for 24 yrs of my existence, rather for the first 11 yrs of my womanly existence, I didn't have period pains at all. I used to be that girl who went "Oh I'm so sorry... it must be terrible right. I don't know how it feels. I don't have any aches and discomforts.... for me it just comes and goes. Once in 45 days that too! Touch wood"
All the touched wood provided luck that lasted only so long, or its probablh just that when  the luck runs out, it runs out. Its also possible that all those other girls with pain cursed me terribly ;)

Or there could be some rational biological explanation to it all. But I'm personally going with the curses theory. Seems to make most sense.

Anyway... the luck ran out, and the pain ran in, about 5 months back. So here we are.
I'm planning to explain the the experience as clearly as possibly... and I'll try to give at least an hourly update or till the pain runs out today.
Small rewind till 5.40 today

5:40. I poured myself a giant glass of milk, cause I know I won't be consuming much else for a long while today.
At around 6 the pain started. Its almost gentle at first... radiating softly through my legs, till it reached the extremities where they lodge themselves as the first pain centre. Beating and pulsing the pain gently in regular intervals.
I called the boss man at 6:10. Didnt want to repeat last time's mistake of going to work and suffering like I'm in hell. I work in an industrial area, so its about 1.25 hours drive from home ~ under good traffic conditions. The boss, though evil, being a man, readily sanctioned the leave. "No problem ma. You take care" I wonder if he got scared that I would get into graphic details of the said "bad stomach ache" with him too. That taken care off, I have a relatively calm pain focussed day ahead.

By 6:30, the big guns are brought out. The biggest pain centre for the menstrual cramps differs from girl to girl. There are some common ones... lower stomach, bum, lower back, upper thigh, just stomach. I've been blessed with pain on the spinal chord in the lower back region.
So let me try to explain this as accurately as possible. It feels like little people are walking on the last 3 spinal chord bone rings. As the walk, not being smooth catwalkers, they tend to have the spinal rings clash with each other - then falling on them - so the entire region throbs for a moment, then stops...then again...then again...

Its almost 7 now. I think theyre trying to sculpt the 4 faces on the final chords... or pinching to check the elasticity of the bone. If I tell them bones are not elastic, will they stop?

The carousel has started in the stomach now.

I think this is a good time to explain position. Not those positions perv! Menstrual positions. During the cramps, there are positions of comfort. These mostly depend on where we are. Like sometimes, you might see a girl hunched over one side, in what seems to a positively uncomfortable posture with a slightly relieved look on her face, which is still slightly scrunched up. She has probably found the position of the moment that gives maximum relief for the highlight ache of the moment. Positions have to keep changing sometimes with somepeople, as the cramps people find amusement in playing hide and seek around the centre of the body.
Right now, it's just 7:05 but already it feels like the entire lower back is a demolition ground. Theres also a possibility that they are building a small plank bridge connecting the tail bone anf belly button. And too many cramp people aare trying to test it.

I know its just test, cause I know its gonna get a lot worse. -_-'

8:15. The big guns are out. Theres a bloody war being waged in my abdomen. Right now I dont care who is winning or losing. Just want the damn thing to stop. The leg is having its one ball. It feels like I ran with 5 inch heels for the better part of 2 days. If there is a provision to cut it off and refix it later, I will gladly chop it off instantly.
My sis was sweet enough to get me a hot pack. It helps slow down the big musk mellon that is being grinded in my stomach.
The experience is so not cool man. Not cool!

9:55. I want to take a shovel and scoop out my innards. There was a time this morning, when I thought that now that Im at home and in bed, I can comfortably find this position or that, set up my laptop and watch a movie maybe. But Nooooo!!! A girl can be on an office chair, princess bed, on the floor or anywhere... this discomfort cannot be helped.
If you re wondering how Im writing this, its in a desperate need for distraction with almost shivering hands.
My right leg is my worst enemy. 
Moving is an amazing moment of co-ordination of discussions with various parts of the body. I have to get up in a moment to pee, and my shoulder (one of the very few parts of my busy that isn't in paint) is very guiltily checking with my abdomen if it can move. After a series of such checks and adjustments, I slowly move.
My pelvic region... I would gladly break away parts of my pelvic bone and the tail bone - if only I could throw away pain in those parts along with those parts.
It goes from moments of intense prayer to curses to just giving up. Gah.

10:45. The violent storms are finally calming down, and the ship is slowly...veeerrrrrryyy slowly regaining a semblance of balance. Hope in the possibility of staying alive (all in one piece!) is finally restored.
As things calm down, and land can be sighted a great distance away, peace takes over. There is still a shooting pain on my back. But after the last couple of hours, just pain is nothing. It's a welcome relief. The hot pack is warming my back and I thank heavens for letting me be able to stay in one position for such a length of time.

12:20. I don't know how it happened... or when it happened... but I had actually dozed off for almost an hour! My back is still being a pain... in pain rather. But its so much better than the crushing feeling of the morning. Now it's just pain. 
Now the storm is over.
I may still not be able to run for the next 1 or 2 days. There will still be an angle at which I walk - which probably makes me look like a 90 year old, but what the hell, its comfortable. But in reality, after this point, as much as I would love to walk bendy, I'll probably suck it up and walk straight, like all other girls do in this condition, almost every month.

Now that the land is actually clearly in sight, despite knowing that there are about 3 to 4 days before being able to get there, I can think of other stuff like - maybe something to eat. Thought of breaking/ chopping/ scrunching body parts are now gone :)

This was an interesting thing to share.
I wonder how many people I freaked out. And I wonder more about how many men would read this and go "NO WAY!!!!" And how many girls give a sympathetic knowing smile.
Life goes on, and this is done with for a month at least!

Have a good day ;)

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