Friday, May 16, 2014

The first day

This is going to be a gruesome post. Definitely not for the faint hearted, or for those dainty men who like to tip toe around girl problems, and pretend they don't exist ~ or exist in an alternate reality where only women in pain are allowed. This is about my period pain.

Today is my first day. Bam, it started at 5:30.

Actually, for 24 yrs of my existence, rather for the first 11 yrs of my womanly existence, I didn't have period pains at all. I used to be that girl who went "Oh I'm so sorry... it must be terrible right. I don't know how it feels. I don't have any aches and discomforts.... for me it just comes and goes. Once in 45 days that too! Touch wood"
All the touched wood provided luck that lasted only so long, or its probablh just that when  the luck runs out, it runs out. Its also possible that all those other girls with pain cursed me terribly ;)

Or there could be some rational biological explanation to it all. But I'm personally going with the curses theory. Seems to make most sense.

Anyway... the luck ran out, and the pain ran in, about 5 months back. So here we are.
I'm planning to explain the the experience as clearly as possibly... and I'll try to give at least an hourly update or till the pain runs out today.
Small rewind till 5.40 today

5:40. I poured myself a giant glass of milk, cause I know I won't be consuming much else for a long while today.
At around 6 the pain started. Its almost gentle at first... radiating softly through my legs, till it reached the extremities where they lodge themselves as the first pain centre. Beating and pulsing the pain gently in regular intervals.
I called the boss man at 6:10. Didnt want to repeat last time's mistake of going to work and suffering like I'm in hell. I work in an industrial area, so its about 1.25 hours drive from home ~ under good traffic conditions. The boss, though evil, being a man, readily sanctioned the leave. "No problem ma. You take care" I wonder if he got scared that I would get into graphic details of the said "bad stomach ache" with him too. That taken care off, I have a relatively calm pain focussed day ahead.

By 6:30, the big guns are brought out. The biggest pain centre for the menstrual cramps differs from girl to girl. There are some common ones... lower stomach, bum, lower back, upper thigh, just stomach. I've been blessed with pain on the spinal chord in the lower back region.
So let me try to explain this as accurately as possible. It feels like little people are walking on the last 3 spinal chord bone rings. As the walk, not being smooth catwalkers, they tend to have the spinal rings clash with each other - then falling on them - so the entire region throbs for a moment, then stops...then again...then again...

Its almost 7 now. I think theyre trying to sculpt the 4 faces on the final chords... or pinching to check the elasticity of the bone. If I tell them bones are not elastic, will they stop?

The carousel has started in the stomach now.

I think this is a good time to explain position. Not those positions perv! Menstrual positions. During the cramps, there are positions of comfort. These mostly depend on where we are. Like sometimes, you might see a girl hunched over one side, in what seems to a positively uncomfortable posture with a slightly relieved look on her face, which is still slightly scrunched up. She has probably found the position of the moment that gives maximum relief for the highlight ache of the moment. Positions have to keep changing sometimes with somepeople, as the cramps people find amusement in playing hide and seek around the centre of the body.
Right now, it's just 7:05 but already it feels like the entire lower back is a demolition ground. Theres also a possibility that they are building a small plank bridge connecting the tail bone anf belly button. And too many cramp people aare trying to test it.

I know its just test, cause I know its gonna get a lot worse. -_-'

8:15. The big guns are out. Theres a bloody war being waged in my abdomen. Right now I dont care who is winning or losing. Just want the damn thing to stop. The leg is having its one ball. It feels like I ran with 5 inch heels for the better part of 2 days. If there is a provision to cut it off and refix it later, I will gladly chop it off instantly.
My sis was sweet enough to get me a hot pack. It helps slow down the big musk mellon that is being grinded in my stomach.
The experience is so not cool man. Not cool!

9:55. I want to take a shovel and scoop out my innards. There was a time this morning, when I thought that now that Im at home and in bed, I can comfortably find this position or that, set up my laptop and watch a movie maybe. But Nooooo!!! A girl can be on an office chair, princess bed, on the floor or anywhere... this discomfort cannot be helped.
If you re wondering how Im writing this, its in a desperate need for distraction with almost shivering hands.
My right leg is my worst enemy. 
Moving is an amazing moment of co-ordination of discussions with various parts of the body. I have to get up in a moment to pee, and my shoulder (one of the very few parts of my busy that isn't in paint) is very guiltily checking with my abdomen if it can move. After a series of such checks and adjustments, I slowly move.
My pelvic region... I would gladly break away parts of my pelvic bone and the tail bone - if only I could throw away pain in those parts along with those parts.
It goes from moments of intense prayer to curses to just giving up. Gah.

10:45. The violent storms are finally calming down, and the ship is slowly...veeerrrrrryyy slowly regaining a semblance of balance. Hope in the possibility of staying alive (all in one piece!) is finally restored.
As things calm down, and land can be sighted a great distance away, peace takes over. There is still a shooting pain on my back. But after the last couple of hours, just pain is nothing. It's a welcome relief. The hot pack is warming my back and I thank heavens for letting me be able to stay in one position for such a length of time.

12:20. I don't know how it happened... or when it happened... but I had actually dozed off for almost an hour! My back is still being a pain... in pain rather. But its so much better than the crushing feeling of the morning. Now it's just pain. 
Now the storm is over.
I may still not be able to run for the next 1 or 2 days. There will still be an angle at which I walk - which probably makes me look like a 90 year old, but what the hell, its comfortable. But in reality, after this point, as much as I would love to walk bendy, I'll probably suck it up and walk straight, like all other girls do in this condition, almost every month.

Now that the land is actually clearly in sight, despite knowing that there are about 3 to 4 days before being able to get there, I can think of other stuff like - maybe something to eat. Thought of breaking/ chopping/ scrunching body parts are now gone :)

This was an interesting thing to share.
I wonder how many people I freaked out. And I wonder more about how many men would read this and go "NO WAY!!!!" And how many girls give a sympathetic knowing smile.
Life goes on, and this is done with for a month at least!

Have a good day ;)

Thursday, May 15, 2014

25 - The Year In Review

So it's done... I turned 26. 
I'm done being 25!!!

A small brief look at the year that was :)
For starters, I always expected 25 to be a big year – signalling one quarter of existence and all. And it was, in more ways than I imagined it to. So let me go through this in three parts – The Bad, The Awesome and The Lessons Learnt!

The Bad
    1. Got rejected. Twice.
    2. The job that I loved transitioned to the job that I tolerate
    3. Not yet published (Though it will happen soon, or eventually, hopefully)
    4. Lost a friend
    5. Lost a phone – XOLO, worst customer service and after sales service in the history of the universe!
    6. My Stevie (laptop) crashed

 The Awesome
  1. Stayed in a beautiful country for 2 whole months (South Korea)
  2. Saw snow!!! Walked in Snow. Drank hot chocolate I as walked in snow :)
  3. Got a tattoo!!!!! (Finally!.... I really did it!)
  4. Got back my best friend (After 2.5 yrs)
  5. Loved someone
  6. Had a job I loved (Still have the job, just don’t love it ;) )
  7. Made global friends (Russian, Korean, Chinese, American)
  8. The first birth year that I had a job from the start to finish!
  9. Travelled to 2 countries amazing countries. Loved both for very varied reasons - The States for the people and the attitude, and South Korea for the sheer beauty of it all :)
  10. Ate a lot of amazing food (like a LOT!!!)
  11. Became really organized ( Gymming regularly (almost), writing regularly, sticking to things from start to finish)
  12. Went to Lotte world [ :D Twice! And the Gyro drop]
  13. Got an awesome new anna who actually keeps snickers ready for me ALL the time!
  14. Learnt a new language decently (before I dropped it)
  15. I went from completely clued in to clueless to just calm

The Lessons Learnt
This is an interesting category... anything can be a lesson learnt. Any good experience or bad.:) However, here goes

  1. It pays to be calm
  2. It pays to be straightforward
  3. Patience can be learnt. And I might have just learnt to practice it a little bit!
  4. Love involves a lot of adjusting, hurts like crazy sometimes, and you have to know when to take the call on whether something is not worth it, or worth fighting for - not always an easy rational choice
  5. Some relationships are too high maintenance, and as we grow older, we realize that they are sometimes not required
  6. People change- big time. Its funny how strongly that realization hits every time.
  7. Old love can be rekindled into love or friendship, it all depends on you
  8. Travelling rocks. Nothing NOTHING like travelling alone, exploring new places, and trying to figure out a country or place's culture based on their history and trying to connect the dots, and just being there, soaking it all in
  9. Politics is, unfortunately, an essential part of South Indian companies
  10. It is always safer to keep the personal life - professional divide
  11. Sometimes, the lines fade, you might get to have strong new bonds, but one should be ready for messy after effects in case the relationship goes sour
  12. Being happy is a choice
  13. When I stop nagging, my dad nags
  14. Money can buy happiness sometimes. To an extent, but it can.
  15. Supporting the parents financially gives an amazing sense of accomplishment, in the best possible way
  16. Sisters are such marvellous confidantes!
  17. Family matters.
  18. Friends do too.
  19. If he does not fight for you, he doesn't deserve you.
  20. Alcohol helps :P Dancing helps more!
  21. Rumours are bloody vicious. But castles inside the head are sometimes more harmful.
  22. Food is the best. Shopping is a close second.
  23. I am difficult to shop for. Just take me shopping in stead :P
  24. A job well loved can become just a source of money before you know it
  25. I am more like my dad than I ever knew before! ;)
These things I learnt (sometimes, re learnt) in my 25th year. Valuable lessons indeed.

And there it is...the lot of it ...maybe not much of it, or too much of it.
26th ...I wonder what it will bring.

Imaginative Realist