Its that time of the year again, when I'm forced to look back. On the year, on my life so far. My dad said make awesome memories for Christmas this year; this might be the last Christmas you spend as a single girl in this family. He said that last year, and I think he'll say it again next year :)

Two things bothering me, interestingly, both have korean effect on them. One is to do with age. Every January first, Koreans declare the age they will be that year as their age. So in 16 days, I would be considered as a 25 year old, if I were a Korean. Even otherwise, I have about 5.5 months left to get there. Have you seen the movie 'Never been kissed'? She was 25.
I've never been kissed. One guy gave me a peck on my head, and I punched him. That was four years ago. I don't regret not having been involved with anyone this year. That was a conscious choice. Nevertheless, I do regret not having been in more concrete relationships. I think I not only missed out on an essential growth phase/ developmental milestone, but it'll also affect any future relationship(s).
And hitting 25 without being kissed is rather pitiful. Still, I think I should be discussing this before my birthday, and not now. So case adjourned.

Second one is School life,... college life. Everyone says that the golden years of their lives was their school life and college years. I don't agree. Those were the years we wanted to grow out of the fastest.
Apart from the fact that my mother was around then, I didn't really like school or college life. My school life was, in one word - a mess. I never fit in. And I till date do not like the person I am around my school friends.
My undergrad days could have been better. They probably were... I had a much better hold of myself, and I grew as a person there. But it was a blur. It was textured with painful confused, mostly blocked away memories. To the extent that I don't even remember how I became friends with some of my current best friends. Yet, god bless their souls, they're around!
If I were to write another book, I'd like to write one based on school life though. A bunch of kids, co-ed, simple life problems...and the ultimate aim is to find their dreams for their lives. Small crushes, first love...relationships, and problems then that seem like the world's biggest. But gotten through with one solid set of friends.

If I were to define my golden years, its now. Its 2012, 2011, 2010... the freedom, the family, the friends. I loved these two years. I learnt so much about myself and the people around me in these years. Especially 2012.

My biggest and most important moments/ realizations

I think for the first time, my sister and I connected, in a basic level. It was brief, we went too deep too fast. But now I know we can connect and we're not just sisters because we share blood.
She told me all about her life. And even when I was brutally cruel and judged her, when I had said I wouldn't, she forgave me. For that, I know she has the biggest heart ever. And that night, I will always regret my reactions. But that night, I knew I had a sister who was a passionate believer in God, and someone who knows what it is to get through the roughest storms life throws at you. I now know more about the sister, I once just knew as the girl who didn't cry out loud.

I realized that it wasn't just my mom who always supported my dreams, but my dad as well. He let me quit my job, he watched as I sat doing nothing for months, saying I'm trying to find my purpose in life, he didn't laugh when I said I wanted to write. He didn't make me feel embarrassed about writing a romance story. He read the whole thing, edited it, gave feedback, and is helping me publish it. How awesomely brilliant is that?!
My dad is impatient, he takes four steps instead of one. He jumps the gun... and I found that I get all that from him.

I found out that I am actually a very reliable person in times of emergencies. I have a cool head, and possibly a cold heart in those times. We faced the big cardio scare for my dad, and we got through it well and safe. Touch wood!
That week, I found out a whole lot of things.
-My family is the best support system anyone could ever ask for, hope for or wish for.
-Though I hate hospitals, I feel really safe in them. (Its not ironic, think about it :) )
-I don't cry when I have to be strong for others
-I have a ready made step back and be clinically organized me inside of me, who is very efficient
-I have a lot of good friends
-My fear of needles, pain and hospitals in general is definitely genetic. I am my father and mother's daughter.
-I still do turn to God and my mother when things get rough

There were a few firsts this year

I went on an arranged date for the first time this year. Dad was about 20 feet away. The experience? I'll probably never forget it, so not writing about it. But I was officially a nervous wreck for the three days that preceded this Diwali - when I met him. And found out that my nerves were actually quite reliable during the actual meet. So yaayy.

I stepped out of the country for the first time this year. Thailand was fun. The most fun day(s) were those 1.5 days I spent roaming around alone, exploring the city! The next time I leave this country, I hope its with just one good travel companion who is ready to try out everything. But the shopping was awesome fun!

I finished not one, but 2 books! One, my friend's story - as a gift for her wedding. Another, which is currently in the publisher hunting phase and actually one more collection of short stories which I gave a friend for her birthday.

One of my best friends got married, and I was with her throughout. It was an amazing but emotionally exhausting experience :)

Those were the firsts...
Some other important things of 2012

*My edu loan was paid off - yaayy!!
*Three new nieces! Flower girls :D (All born in the beginning of this year. I'm yet to see one of them, hope to before the end of this year!)
*Our home went through a lot of revamping this year. A LOT!
*I still haven't started driving properly ( :/)
*I found that we dont need a purpose in life, we need a reason instead. (This is probably a big one. But since the realization came in such a simple way, I'm putting it here, with ample happiness in my heart.)
*I made new friends, kept the old ones that mattered, made big mental decisions, and had to let go of one very important friend. (This is a big one, but I don't know where it fits, and neither do I want to write anymore about it)
*My book was more of a closure in many aspects
*I still don't think I am or will be comfortable with touch gadgets. I still have phones and netbooks and haven't shifted to touch phones and ipads. Buttons are good!
*I think I watched the maximum number of korean dramas this year, and have probably become and official addict *gasp*
*A good friend got married, one of the most extravagant gorgeous weddings I've witnessed!
*A really good friend go married, I couldn't make it
*Another friend got married, and I couldn't make it to that either.
*My cousin, younger than me by 2 yrs, is going to get married, and I will be attending! First relative, younger than me who is going to get married - mixed feelings, I'll tell you how it feels when I find out
*Many many many trips - Kolkatta (yum and cheap food!), Cunoor (Again, Lamb's rock is really the best! I want to get married there!!!), Coimbatore (All the cousins and nephews and nieces), Bangalore (More cousins and nephews and nieces!), Mahabalipurum (Drive with a girl is a whole different experience!), Velankanni (Family bonding, and wooww early morning drives)
*I didn't get along very well with my grandmother this year. Not proud of it.
*I actually went to a doctor for my skin!!! Me! And even more surprisingly, I was able to give up sweets and chocolates for almost two months straight! The battle is still on, it is surprisingly easy to not include artificial sugar once you get used to it.
*I briefly tried teaching at college, but I remember the horrendous travel aspect more - and I was asked to quit.
*There was one earthquake I felt this year. Taylor Swift's Safe and Sound is really an apt song for calming people at natural calamities.

2012 was amazing. A lot happened, but more than what is here, more happened in my head. 2012, I know I grew up and matured in just my way of thinking. Maybe not by leaps and bounds, but at least a little :)
There were a lot of things which were so much richer because of how they felt... good and bad. Arguments, hospitals, best friends weddings, closures, meeting someone new, meeting someone old.... it was a damn interesting year!
And it's not even over yet! I have exams, weddings, family vacation and Christmas before it closes.
Wow right? :D

This was fun :)


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