Showing posts from October, 2012

Skeletons in my cupboard

This last week has been a confront the past week.
It's coming to thrash me in all sorts of ways!
Be it a four hour chat with my sister I wasn't mentally prepared for, or an old friend letting me know that he's returning, or someone I had completely written off endorsing me (no less) on a social network site or someone from the last year giving me an update about this year.
This last week, the only confrontation I was ready for was meeting my nemesis at a wedding - the only thing that didn't happen last week.
I guess it is true when they say: When it rains, it pours.

I don't like change that I am not ready for, even as simple as moving the furniture. So when it is as big as confronting someone's past, or accepting someone coming back in the future, or even accepting that some people I had written off are trying to wheedle their way back (God knows why), I need time to get used to it. Time to get ready for it.
Since I wasn't, I messed up BIG time in that chat…

Rumour Has It

The storm is over now :)

After all the previous confusions, I did what was the best option available - Phone a friend!

Remember how just a while back, I told you that I was described as irritating by many, and that it had hit me hard. Well I found out why, and it's such a dumb reason. Well, as serious as any, but nothing I needed to have gotten worried over.

Lets rewind a bit: It's story time!

Back when I joined college, I was completely new to co-education, and men and their ways intimidated and scared me. Luckily though, I made a few good friends. One of them happened to be my room mate's good friend from even before. So when we joined college, she already had a friend, and she trusted him like a brother. Which is good, except, she also started calling him anna - which is the word for 'elder bro'.

Back then, that was good too. Because he was a sweet guy, and you know how I'd always wanted an elder brother!; I ended up calling him anna too. Along the same time…

The Person Inside of Me

I don't like being forced to do things. Don't is an understatement. I detest it. It's one thing that can get me raging and digging my heals, and doing everything in my power to not do it. Even if it was something I was going to do in the first place, sometimes it is even something I want to do.
Is that sad? Bad? Just plain stupid?
I don't know.
But I hate it - being asked to do something over and over again. More so if they start making it sound like an ultimatum.
I didn't go to Church today.
It was at 6. I didn't go because; between 5:30 PM and 5:45 PM my dad asked me to get ready more than ten times. Church is 3 minutes away, and I just had to change into a pair of jeans, and I would have been ready. I didn't go because he nagged me. And I am very much aware that it is as good as saying I didn't eat when I'm hungry, because somebody tried to make me.

Yesterday, I was telling my friend that I didn't like getting into relationships because I don…


Have you ever fallen for someone at first sight? May not be love, but a super big crush - so big that just remembering their face makes you all happy happy. Especially more so, because it helped you find out something about yourself.
I just did yesterday. 
I've always loved expressions. Though I respect and really like words for their infinite possibilities and applicabilities, my love affair is with expressions - for its simple reliability. 
So this guy I have a crush on, he goes from sweet to embarrassed to dangerous to shy to broody and then to channelling pure evilness. All within a blink, and so spectacularly. It's not just his deep deep eyes, but his whole face. He's just so beautifully animated, that I just couldn't help falling in love with his expressiveness, and keep smiling all the time when he was around!
Since, he is a celebrity, and I happened upon him in a drama, you can see for yourself - my new lou :P

How can I not like someone who shows all these inten…

The Reason

Sometimes, the most important things can come to you in the most unexpected manner. I've been looking for a purpose to live for quite a while now. It felt like there was no point to it. To anything.
Today, in flash of a look passed between a guy who was holding on to a very very thin ray of hope, and the girl who believed he could win the race, I found what I was looking for. The answer I was desperately searching for.

It is the reason we live. And not exist.

Purpose is a big word - and I don't thing all of us were meant to/ lucky enough to find it that easily. I still don't know if there is a purpose to our living; one that we can/ are supposed to know when we're still living. Unlike characters in a play, we don't know where we're headed, so we don't know if our character has a role to play in the main plot, or the twist in the plot, or just a supporting role. At least I don't for sure.
Maybe the purpose is for retrospect.

The reason on the other hand …


In the past month alone, three of my friends (on FB) asked me to take down pics with them and their exes in it. It wasn't even necessarily pics where they were standing together, just any with both of them in the same photo. Most of these requests are from guys. I guess they weren't introduced to the phrase 'You play you pay'.   Do they think they're being prudent? I think they're being ridiculous.  I decided to take down almost all the pictures, and just leave those photos of random sceneries. I'm sure they won't object. In this day and age of social networking, socializing itself has taken a crazy turn. We know so much more than we want to know about our friends, and so much less than we need to know.
Private affairs are splashed all over public forums. A couple were going through what they claimed to be a silent divorce - with the dirt posted, for everyone to see. Step by step. Another 'friend', lets call her A, recently got engaged. Her best…


Something is not right again. Don't know what.
Maybe the bunch of tiny things that happened... maybe not.

My pillow was recently kidnapped, and I got very upset. Found it back, but it turns out I'm very touchy about my bedding. Always have been slightly specific about it.

My laptop recently went into a coma and was resurrected. I think that took the biggest toll on me. I get very very very restless when I lose something, or when something of mine breaks. When that happens, I'm touchy, and moody and restless and a big pain to be around. PMS is nothing compared to me with a broken belonging.
I can see and feel it myself, my voice becomes shriller, my demands become crazy, and I basically behave like a person with OCD put in a zig zag maze. I try my best to stay quiet and far away from everyone, as much as possible during those times.

I remember once, about 2 years back, my photoshop went berserk. My friend made the mistake of offering to get it for me. I'm sure he regret…