Somewhere I belong

I'm here.
I suddenly had this urge to comeback here. Where I completely totally fully belong :) Here which is mine!

I've been thinking a lot about how it works. The whole marriage thing. My dad occasionally jokes about a January wedding, and I normally play along.
You know how the thought process has two surfaces right? One where you react to a stimulus as though it is a random scenario, and two, the deeper one, where you connect it to you and react to it - like you would if it really happened. Since my dad is mostly just kidding, I know that I just have to play along, but occasionally I wonder - what if they suddenly do find somebody and there is a January wedding? Then I'll need my entire bank balance to run away and stay in hiding for 6 months or so! There is no alternate to it.
Anyway, it won't happen. So it's ok. But you know, just in case!

This world is a funny place. My aunt and uncle came visiting yesterday. The entire time uncle spoke to me, he was telling me seemingly opposite things - You should pick the one you marry, and get married after you really know him, and that I should get married completely. Also, 2 months before engagement, then a year before the wedding, but once engaged, shouldn't break it off. When I argued that a 1 year before engagement and 2 months before wedding will make more sense if that engagement rule is so strong, he was against it. I gave up and went to my smile and nod mode.

By the way, I told you I'm working on a book right?
It's a decent set-up and all that, but this one won't become ridiculously famous. Like the one(s) I eventually want to write. I was just thinking, even if I do use an alias - with the internet and all, will you (bloggy) get discovered? Do I want that to happen?
If it happens na, you and I understand each other, but will others do?
What if, like meesa they decide that I'm "really hurting inside" and bring me tulips? I'll want to punch them. Chincharoo.

This society is kind of strange you know? I know all societies have quirky bits. Here, my dad doesn't tell any of his friends that his daughter is jobless. I am! And I'm quite cool with it :P He tells them either that I am studying (Which is technically true, I am doing my masters) or that I'm writing a book (Something I dont even want to tell most of MY friends about!). Why am I pulling society into this? Because, had I been married, and sitting at home joblessly, no one will even ask "What is your daughter doing?"
Being married is by itself a big thing I guess? Double standards though.
I'm not liking this! Tut tut tut.
Anyway, recession is fully on, so as far as I am concerned, perfect time for me to take my first book break, and see how far I can go as a serious writer. I'm really loving writing! Even when it became something I considered as a possible source of income, I still love it. I write on sundays, I think about it at 2 AM. Loving it is in fact an understatement!
Only thing worrying me, is that the idea for the next book hasn't come yet. Hope it just pops up one day concretely, like this one did!

Another thing happening to me is I am becoming very distractable. Even when I'm talking to someone, it feels like just that one conversation is not enough. So I think about something, or start noticing things in the environment. I'm not liking this :( I really really want to be able to give 100% attention when I am conversing with someone. Anyone. I love it when people do that, and I want to too. Its probably all the colour that I keep watching. Hope I learn to focus more!

Tons of other things are happening to various people in my life. It doesn't directly affect me, most of the time. But it does, it changes the way I react to certain things. I'm really glad I am where I am though. I might not have been a while ago, but I am now.

AAhhhhhh! This was good :) I missed this little random me times I can have here. By the way, the climate's finally becoming better. It's cooling down :) Rains are on and off ... off for now. But no complaints.

Love to all !
Ta :)

P.S: I've been thinking about you mummy! A lot lately. Paati too.We miss you :)
She wants me to dedicate the book you. Which I am anyway going to. Obviously.
Hope you're happy where you are.
The throat still closes up when I think about you, silly thing.
I'm drinking milk everyday, without sugar, so it smells like the morning you.
I'm cooking more too. Apart from the amout of chilli powder to add, I'm able to learn the rest quickly-ish.
Aaaaahhhhhh miss you. Wish you were here.
Come in my dreams!
Love you :)


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