Showing posts from September, 2012

Lighthouse lights

I had a dream last night. It was so vivid, I can still remember the colours and scents from it. And the expressions. It's something I have been trying to make myself forget for a while. Sometimes, I feel I'm over it. Sometimes I feel I've forgotten. And then something happens, bringing it all right back to the surface. Where it does not belong!

I woke up from the dream, assaulted by thoughts. I wrote a ton of things, but I wonder if they make sense in broad day light. I'm going to put that here, instead of what the dream was, because I want to forget that dream. Along with the rest.

I slightly feel like a hypocrite for stressing on the forgetting so much. Especially since I was the one who sat and not just remembered, but wondered how it all might have been. Nonetheless, punishment received. Point taken.

Lighthouse Lights

Once again I lay
After yet another one of those dreams
All our memories
Back in all their vividness 

You were so close I caught your scent
Brutally far from…

Love and Pain

I told you I'm working on a story right?  The stage is set, and the next step for them to take is that giddy first stage, when you're always happy and everything in the world is rosy. I've been in that stage, albeit briefly, and I'm scared to let her (the heroine) go there. Going there, knowing how she is as a person, would mean she will be very vulnerable. I know that I'm as much a cynic as I am a romantic. I love reading about it, but I don't believe it. I don't believe it, but I wish it were true. Weird right? But here, I know I'm not alone. Everyone who is loved (almost loved) and hurt has felt this way at some point or the other. I guess this is it, we've already established she was hurt once too, so she should be a cynic too right? Why should she get into with perfect openness?! Perfecto! Thank you for helping me again :) Ta !

Somewhere I belong

I'm here.
I suddenly had this urge to comeback here. Where I completely totally fully belong :) Here which is mine!

I've been thinking a lot about how it works. The whole marriage thing. My dad occasionally jokes about a January wedding, and I normally play along.
You know how the thought process has two surfaces right? One where you react to a stimulus as though it is a random scenario, and two, the deeper one, where you connect it to you and react to it - like you would if it really happened. Since my dad is mostly just kidding, I know that I just have to play along, but occasionally I wonder - what if they suddenly do find somebody and there is a January wedding? Then I'll need my entire bank balance to run away and stay in hiding for 6 months or so! There is no alternate to it.
Anyway, it won't happen. So it's ok. But you know, just in case!

This world is a funny place. My aunt and uncle came visiting yesterday. The entire time uncle spoke to me, he was telling…

An empty home

Aren't separations, no matter how well handled, a sad thing to encounter?
They say endings are required for a new beginning, but isn't that something we settle for finally? No matter how brilliant the new beginning is, it is still something that tore us apart inside at one point. We always think, can't it just stay the same. A part of it maybe fear of the unknown, but what. the. hell. I can't let go.
No, I can. But that doesn't mean I like letting go.
No one should have to let go of someone or something that is important to them. Even if they cannot explain why they don't want to let go, why or what about it is important to them ... if they can hold on to it tight - they shouldn't have to be ridiculed for it, or questioned about it.
Even if they are, they should still hold on tight - as long as their heart says its right.

When the back door opened!

It's been raining for a few days now, and days are lovely.
Every night, for the past few nights, like clockwork - it starts raining at 12:30 AM. It's not helping my nocturnal-ness become normal again one bit! Just about when I wonder if I should maybe hit the sack early, the wind starts howling first. Like a teaser. Even though I don't normally go out at that, I can feel it from the inside. Feel it just by the sound.
Last night it rained again. (After I'd gotten back in from rain watching), as my grandma rushes from her room, and goes out back.
Behind our house, we have a pretty big roofed back yard, where clothes are hung during the rainy season, amongst other things. The whole place is surrounded by a 4 feet wall, above which are metal grills. When its raining hard, if the clothes are not hung on the two sides of the room that are towards the house, and have full walls, they get wet from the rain coming in through the grills. So my grandma was rushing to get them. I …

Mission 7 Hours

Its finally here. The night I spend awake, and weblogging through it.
I have to stay awake till 5 AM tomorrow morning.
Reason: Not Important. (Something along the lines of it being easier to wake someone at 5 by not sleeping the whole night, rather than using artificial devices such as alarm clocks. Well, I told you it wasn't important)
Supplies: Endless number of movies and dramas, a story to write, a book to read, pizza, juice and other food supplies, (Including apples which help one stay awake).
Additional resources: Friends who will be up for the greater part of the night
Prior preparations made: A short three and a half hour nap earlier this evening.
Threats: A looming head ache

Time: 10: 30 PM.
Task for the next forty five minutes: Writing

Time: 11:09 PM
I haven't started writing yet.
But I have something else to show and discuss:

 Bedrooms! (Okay, the inspiration did not come from thinking about sleep too much, when I wont be getting any)
The inspiration was this pictur…

It wasn't me!

This place is rapidly becoming my sleep diary, and i am well aware of it.
My happy bubble that existed today morning had now been ruthlessly burst, by my gleeful sister with my father as a witness!
Apparently, I ... (am too sad to even admit it) sleep talked!
I don't sleep talk! I'm not that kind of a person, I've always prided myself on being a very peaceful, light sleeper. One who doesn't have any funny sleep habits. Sleep talking is not allowed :(
And my dad who happened to over hear it while passing by (Late nights for me, means that his morning is my midnight) claims that it was quite a lot. Not even just 3 words, that my sleepy sister heard.
What do I do now? What is happening to me???

Got my back

Last night, I tried it all, watched happy things, changed my phone's wallpaper to something about someone who's protecting another, and I even prayed.
I am happy to report that the night was free from nightmares last night, and had a good 8 hours of sleep :)
The wonders good sleep can do to one's mood!
Happiness :)

And BTW, today is a fellow dreamer's birthday! Wishing that all her dreams come true,
Someday's dreamer!

I'm coming to meet you

This song is from the OST of a Korean drama called "Queen In Hyun's Man", its sung by Doek Hwan
The drama is about a guy who time travel's from 300 years ago to the present, so the song has that much more meaning in that context.
This song, I fell in love with it purely for the first verse. The poetry (not the words, but the image it creates) of it, though very sappy is adorable!

I imagined you
I drew you only in my dreams I wanted to keep you to myself like a secret
My small star My small heart You came to me I was truly trembling when you were in front of me
I drew you in my mind I kept you in my dreams Like this … I met you like this Why did you make my heart, my heart, tremble As I was hit by a cold wind It was you who gave me warmth Just like this, us only, (us only) Our love between us will go on forever
As time goes on, as time goes by My only love I will look at you only My love for you will only grow
Even if it is a dream I will still meet u I will be the first to show you everyt…

Perhaps Love

Lyrics time again! This is one of my top favourite songs! It's called perhaps love, it's korean, and it is part of the OST of a Korean drama called Goong: Princess Hours.
Though I love the song more for the duet aspect of it, and the music and love it in its Korean form, I want to share it here. Its about falling in love, which I feel is the best part of it all. And I think this song captures that emotion at its core!
I might write more about the song later, but for now - the translated english lyrics :)

I don't know when it all started 
When my head became dizzy with thoughts of you 

These thoughts would often pop up in my mind 
I feel anxious as my heart expands towards you 

It's nothing.. it's just a little thing 
Your words are awkward to me 

Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it a beginning? 
My heart keeps saying it loves you 
It screams out for the whole world to hear 
Why has it taken so long for me to hear it~? 
We've finally met.. finally found love 

If I w…