Saturday, July 28, 2012

Love and Suffering

I watched a Hindi movie today, after a long time.
Happy ending and all that, but i realized why I started avoiding Indian movies.
I reduced English rom-coms too.

This movie, like most Indian movies and sitcoms seemed to emphasize on the pain that love brings, and relief from that pain as the climax. This concept somehow deeply irritates me. Why does one always have to go through pain, and internal and major external conflict, if they were in love in India? I'm guessing it might be the culture...
Love marriages - yes, they are a whole different category, are a surprising minority in Indian marriages. growing in number, yes. But by breaking through shackles, one by one.
If we were to compare this to politics, then only the 6 major cities have gotten freedom - but the power to govern has still not been given.
Marriages here are determined predominantly by caste, religion, superstitions (and oh, there are truck loads of them - speaking against which would apparently offend God in all sorts of ways), the families' societal status, educational background, gold ... and somewhere towards the very end of the list of gazillion prerequisites for a marriage, in real fine print "liking each other" shows up.

Indian women got their freedom before the American women - did you know? But I think they forgot to send out the flyer, because most people don't seem to know. But that's a whole different story. The point of it that concerns us here is - they're controlled by the family. Or by it (Read "it" - family, community, neighbours, religious division....)'s beliefs.

Finding their life partner themselves isn't an option for most, and for the rest (save 1%) it is a washed out second option, which completely fades out around the time a girl approaches 26, and the guy approaches 30 -32. After which, they're either forced into some loveless knot or for the strong ones who endure it - they face a life time (or till wedding) of random jobless people asking them when and why not, and accusing you of being too picky, or heavy headed or some other negative adjective.

The cinema aspect of this - which is probably also the realistic aspect - of secretly meeting, breaking up because the kundli didn't match, breaking up because they had different faiths - and families would never gel, breaking up because parents found out and get them married to someone else .. wait, all the breaking up happens in real life, but in cinemas, to keep the ratings high - we give them a happy ending at the very end.

The spend all that time fighting obstacles, when do they ever get to know each other?! But wait, India is the land of arranged marriages, where many meet on the day of the wedding (I am not stretching it, trust me) - so they can adjust and make anything work. But what about love?
Love without pain, love that purely makes you happy?
Is it non existent only in Indian Cinema?
Does it exist in real life? I'm not sure about in India... not as far as I have seen it.
Am I being an unrealistic romantic? critic?
Just inexperienced? ;)

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