Thursday, November 17, 2011

Drive in the rain

One of the things I've always wanted to do was go for a long drive, music blaring, along the coast, in the rain.
Now that I've done it, I know I'm always going to keep wanting to every time it rains!
It was one of the best days of 2011. I know I've had a few good ones and few bad ones this year, but I'm pretty sure that day will make it to the top 10 good ones, if someone's keeping track!

Just for the sake of memory; Date: 29th October, 2011.

It all started, like many good things do, one rainy day. There was thunder, there was lightning, every element which mother nature uses to express herself in, in all of its glory. We got talking or chatting online... when I said I wish I were at the beach. One thing led to another, and before we knew it an offer to drive to the near by coastal attraction was made and accepted with complete glee. A date was fixed. Plan sealed XD

I'm a very insecure person. When the day arrived and I had received no call or text confirming the drive, I was certain that it was going to be cancelled. But, when the rain came down, I knew I had to at least try! I sent a tentative text, and got a reply that dismissed all my doubts, with the time of departure. I know it probably had nothing to do with the rest of the day, or actually leaving.
But when I'm in doubt, especially when I suspect a possible rejection, my first reaction, almost instinctively is to reject first and run. That's probably what I would have done, had it not rained that morning.
So you see, small act of faith was a big step for me :P

With all of Lady luck favouring us, we set off. The route that we took was  the more round about one, which meets the coast a little later than the other route. I must admit I was more than just a tad bit disappointed in the beginning. I was nevertheless determined to be happy- long time dream coming true na! And boy am I glad that we went that way!!!

That's when the rain started :)

The road wasn't the best, but it was one of those tree-y roads, yunno? With big trees forming an arch way all along the way. That road ended in another road which was pretty with bright yellow flowers along the center and foresty growth on either side. It felt like it was right out of some Enid Blyton novel! I was all but jumping. The specially bright green, and that pleasant chill which only a consistent slight drizzle can create.

The music was pleasant, though my constantly changing the song within 8 seconds of it starting might have tested the patience of even a saint :P

The road suddenly cleared, and we were surrounded on both sides by the wide expanse of a lake. I felt like Anne of green gables, stepping into my backyard - of the house of dreams. It was beauutiful !
Buildings were so far away, and so tiny, like they belonged to a different world, the same world I had left my worries in.

That road, driving on it, at one point having my hand out in the drizzle and letting the cool wind blow on my face... the highway with the squiggles, the green arch way, the forest path, the lake road ... that one long stretch, was one of those places that could make one truely happy. Just plain keep-grinnin kinda happy. Not thoughtful, not just content, but ":D" happy. I loved it !

Soon, the road came to an end with us joining the coastal road. I regretted leaving the road that I had initially regretted taking, like life's many ironies. Glad I got to witness it on that day in all of its glory though :)

Getting back on the familiar coastal road was like coming to a home away from home. I almost know it by heart. And just when I was getting all smug about being on "my turf", we turned into - Tiger's Cave. One of those places that I've always crossed, but never been to. It was truly a discover. You could say there wasn't much there, but there was enough for me. An old abandoned rock temple project, 2 stones that were oddly placed, lush lawns, trees and a beautiful drizzle that can make a crowded street feel like a movie scene!

The place was really beautiful though :) One of those tucked away wonders. It had a small entry to the beach, and I obviously wanted to go!

A few shells and a Kulfi later, we set off again.
This time, focus on the Final Destination: Mahabs!

The drive to mahabs after the break went much faster and smoother.
My request for lunch was shot down with an "after the shore temple! Its not raining now, so we should go"

We stepped out, 3 steps, and drizzle became a gentle rain...10 steps... rain became a shower.
"Maybe we should get an umberella..?" my friend asked tentatively.
Which I obviously shot down with a "Hell no, isn't this what you wanted ?!" Impish grin spread all over my face. Even so, we dashed for cover in a small curios shop. The nice lady there gave us a plastic cover to place cell phones and cameras in. Once I knew that was secure, my attention ...or rather my distraction was randomly refocusing.Bang opposite to us were a couple of gypsies, holding umbrellas, but their wares - glass beads, left out in the rain.
I'm not sure I will ever find the right words to describe the feeling and the beauty associated with looking at colourful glass beads displayed in the rain. And the ecstacy that accompanied running across the street in the pouring rain to check them out. May be it was my cheery poncho, maybe it was just the absolute happy smile on my face - everyone seemed to have a smile for me.
I shopped, my sweet friend paid :P
Provided I wore my gypsy-y beads. I obliged happily!

The and a half hours that followed will forever in my memory be one of the most peaceful times I've ever spent. The shore temple, which I had last visited when I was about 10 years old, was just what the name said - a stone temple along the sea shore.
What adds to its charm is that it is an unfinished temple.
The builder, the king who beckoned the temple to be built had a fight half way through and all construction was stopped. Rumour has it that the builder ran away with the king's daughter - the princess of the land.
The temple has been well preserved across the centuries, and is as..if not more beautiful today as the day it was built.
 (My Light house obsession)

There is a word in Tamil called 'Saaral'.
Saaral refers to a mild spray ... a kind of rain. Which is lighter than a drizzle. Where each drop is miniscule and sweetly cold as it falls on our faces.
There was a lovely saaral though out our time there.
That place had some beautiful memories. Memories I have from photographs. A picture, where my sister looks absolutely adorable sitting on a stone cow, and grinning ear to ear was from there. I realized that when we saw it there, and that made me all the more happier.

My friend was forced to conquer a slight fear of heights, and join me in sitting atop another one of the many stone cows surrounded the temple. We looked at people, watched water falling from a higher surface to a lower one, stared at the ocean, smiled at the kids playing at a distance.
everything was so peaceful in my heart right then.

We left happily. Satiated with the peacefulness.
Towards food!

A longer ride, and a little bit of desperation (for food of course) from my end ensued.
Funnily enough, with my desperation, the intensity of the rain increased.
Making me feel like the rain queen :P

Amazing lunch with invigorating conversation followed.
Yummm native food :)
The ride back was quiet. The comfortable quiet, with music :)

 It continued to drizzle on and off for the rest of the journey :)

Fade away

Sing me to sleep
I am tired
I want to go to bed
And sleep a dreamless sleep ....

For an hour
For a day
Maybe more
May I fade away?

People ask me questions,
I stare
I really don't know answers
I'm sorry

For an hour
For a day
Maybe more
May I fade away?

People tell me things
I politely look interested

Glad I don't have to process anything

Do I want to cry?
Do I feel sad?
Do I want to be happy again?

Do I just want to sleep?
I don't know...
Just don't.

If you leave me alone,
And walk away
I will stay as quiet as I am
In the same place
Move not a muscle
No smile on my face

Will I fade away?
May I fade away?
And disappear all together...

Ones that ought to be made
Ones that were made already
Ones that are being made
Feel heavy in my head

For an hour
For a day
Maybe more
May I fade away?

People smile
I smile back,
Because I know I should
But the smile fades away faster than a bubble breaking
There was nothing in it

There are things I have to do
There are things I want to do
There are things I can do

They would have to wait

For an hour
For a day
Maybe more
May I fade away?

May I please just fade away?

It's Raining !!! :D

That's the text I sent out to half a dozen of my friends at 5: 30 AM, this morning.
It's raining again after almost a 2 week dry spell this monsoon. It couldn't have come at a better time!

Yesterday was a bad day at work.
I am still proud of the fact that I didn't break into tears right in the middle of the meeting.
The fact that I am proud of such a thing, probably doesn't say much about my maturity. No matter what my friends say, as far as the professional world is concerned, I am as immature as the day I first stepped into MBA, and blinked at people as they spoke about OPM.

As I look through my back door, there, just beyond the grill is a sprig of green leaves - a beautiful, fresh, washed out green which only rain can bring, bent a bit over- again because of the rain! Against the white wall of the house behind mine. It looks almost picture perfect. Makes me wish everything in life was that beautiful, and straight forward.

Too simplistic?
I guess... But sometimes, I just wish it were.

Then again, I'm happy that no matter how hard or crazy life seems, a small (or big) shower of rain can bring a smile to my face again.
So much so, that today morning, after a turbulent work-dreamy night, I woke up to the sound of rain.
I was so excited, I wanted to run out, and say
"I have struggled in vain, but I can contain myself no longer. I need to tell you how ardently I admire and love you"
So much for water falling from the heavens, you ask? Well .. ;)

Hoping you find your happy thing too !

Happy rainy day :)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Wails of a wind flower

Every season comes to an end
Yet she knows she'll bloom again
Bloom... Send fragrances across the land
Simple happiness
Then the wilting begins
Sometimes slowly
Many times abruptly
Painful all the time
She wishes she never bloomed
Why, to wilt so brown?
True, the wind felt good
True, swaying merrily felt like it was worth it
But every season seems to end
Sometime or the other
With or without a closure
The need to go underneath and hide there
Engulfs her
As she goes about doing something or the other
Knowing full well that no one will notice her
Poor wilting, wailing wind flower.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Swing in the rain

I went on a mini vacation a short while ago. A time off, towards a place that had rain.
My aunt's place.

Apart from the fact that they have a beeuutttiifffuuulll home, my aunt- whom I can really talk to, 2 lovely kids who love me ;), one of the main reasons I love going over is because they have a Balcony which is semi covered with a thatched roof, and surrounded by plants. It commands a lovely view of a eucalyptus trees swaying like curtains in front of a wide open field.

Do you have a happy place in your mind?

A place where you imagine yourself just quietly sitting, a reading a book maybe?

I have a few, the big leaved tree at school that overlooks the play area - when I'm drawing or reading a book, the beach, where I'm singing or writing in my net book, driving in a car - top speed, high way, music blaring... or sitting on a swing, and many more.

So this time, when I went to my aunt's place, I was ultra delighted as they had a new swing installed in that balcony! Imagine my delight :D
Even though I couldn't sit out there on the first day, I fantasized about sitting there the next day (Yes, these are the kind of things I fantasize about.), reading my book, and watching/ smelling the eucalyptus sway in the rain.
The next day came, I was free, I got my book out and got all set to go and read, swinging along while listening to the rain. What I hadn't factored in was the presence of 2 kids home. I thought they would quietly study in their study time. I guess I've been a grown up way too long, because I clearly should have known better. I hadn't been there 3 seconds before I heard 2 sets of feet running up the stairs screaming my name, with "Where are you?!?!?"s like I had disappeared. Well, aged 7 and 11, I should have known :)
The book was kept aside, music played instead.
And there was one little boy with a head firmly lodged on my lap, making himself comfortable, and a little girl, sitting in front of my, explaining a mile a minute about the Arabic princess who was getting kidnapped in the 'super' green car.
It was soooo NOT quiet. If there was a thing called anti quiet, this was it! They were screaming, shouting and moving way too fast. But it was peaceful, and we laughed so much! I was hugged a million times, and my attention was wanted and I felt precious. A swing in the rain, with a book might feel perfectly peaceful in our heads, but a swing in the rain, with 2 kids is much more perfectly perfect. I never expected to love it so :)

Next time, when I'm in my peaceful place, in my head - I might just have a 7 year old boy lying on my lap and trying to get the swing moving in crazy directions with his legs, and I'll not have a smile on my face. Just a grin.

Swing in the rain :)