Thursday, October 13, 2011

Symphonies of life

My last few days, when I think back, feels like one of those music videos where the lead actress is cycling along, hits a bump, waves merrily at someone she randomly knows, parks her bike outside a coffee shop, goes in with a book, hits a table, orders something sinfully casually yum -like a chocolate shake, then drops all her coins when trying to pay, finishes the book finally, bumps into a waiter by mistake, but no major hazard, and then off she goes... smile on her face.

Monday started the week with a jam packed schedule.More than jam packed, I was on my feet a LOT. So many meetings, excel sheets, floor plans, numbers. I had so much fun! At the end of each day (Monday and Tuesday) I never noticed time flying, and I was already at the end. I didn't realize how, but I was drained, yet overflowing with ideas. The climate is perfect, drizzly.
The background music in my head is great.

On Monday we went to our new office premises, to check it out. Came back and made floor plans on Excel. I know excel is more useful than I can ever imagine, but this, I would've never guessed! I owe my team mate a thankoo for that suggestion. I got to see first hand how the top management thinks and negotiates. It was wonderful learning. The fact that some of the negotiation happened over chocolate milk shake and apple pie never hurt. ;)

On Tuesday, I felt like a baby elephant when I woke up. It was also the day I had 4 square meals :P
We had back to back meetings till 6.30pm, and by then, I was conked out. All I wanted to do was sit.
In the evening I met a friend, and had a lovely conversation over soup, lollipop and lamb. I left him a bit dumb founded in the end, and an expression that screamed "But, WHY ?!?!". Nonetheless, it was fun. Hehe.
He is one of those people you can have looooong intellectual conversations with, or just talk about food or the place or music or whatever. It's easy somehow. Always.

Wednesday started as a beautiful lazy weekday, when the weather is perfect to sleep in on. Got better when this darling friend of mine not just reminded me that I had to pay my fees, but also decided to fill the application form with me, so I don't procrastinate, like I tend to.
During the process I found that I had lost a receipt which is essential for the next payment. I thought I was done for. I'd either have to shell out that much or drop the course. All the searching had me postponing my meetings. Didn't help, I didn't find the receipt. I was all set for the worst day at office. My friend had been ever more of a sweetheart and said she'll pay mine with hers. And due to issues she had, she couldn't do it yesterday. I didn't have much hope left. Surprisingly, the day was quite mellow. And ended with a chat, which we later realized lasted for an entire hour and a half.

Today, I woke up after a fitful sleep. Work wise, day's good and productive. The fee issue got resolved, Big BIG thanks to . I've lost the elephant size, and back to being a hippo ;).

This post wasn't to keep a daily log.
There are some days when I feel there isn't a point in anything.
We're going to die anyway.
There are those days when I feel the human body is so fragile - we could break or die because of the smallest of reasons.
I still haven't figured out the purpose of life.
But I've stopped looking for it like it's the only thing that matters.

I love and enjoy food. It makes me happy, here and now.
I absolutely enjoy long conversations - they somehow, seem to me as the thread that is woven to form life.
I like making myself happy, doing things I like and want to. It just makes sense to me.
I like making others happy, it's fun.
I don't speak to some people if it feels it drains me
I try to get to know as many people as I can. More the merrier.

I have mood swings. I think every girl does.

But, I don't feel alone anymore.
I feel one step closer to understanding, if not figuring out what life is all about.

That's what this post is about.
That's what I want to say.

Same thing that we read countless times

It's the little things that count

The big things, and the big decisions in life are like the colours that are provided to us in our palate. Everytime something new and big happens, we get one more colour added to our palate.

The small things in life, the tiny everyday decisions we make are the pictures we paint. How we choose to mix the colours and draw the picture.

It's starting to look like even if life feels ever so boring, with just one colour to paint with over and over again, we still have the choice to make it as intricate, fun and beautiful as we choose to.

Every new day has a fresh area added to our canvas. We can't live in the memories of the one nice picture we painted before, or just dreaming of the picture we could paint if only we had that other colour. We've got to start painting, so that when that colour comes along, or some other colour comes along, we already have the stage set for it to make our picture so much the prettier.

I'm learning to paint new pictures, instead of crying over the old ones. Or what could have been.
I'm learning to love living and dreaming. Just the journey itself.
I'm trying, and succeeding a bit more everyday, to just enjoy the ride, though I have absolutely no idea about where I'm going or why I'm going there.



My life isn't perfect. My life is beautiful.

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