Dear Sugie,

Been a while,
How have you been doing?
I think of you,
But can't think of anything to say now
Life's been weird
And I see myself acting weirder
Its funny ..
Everything is changing
Baselines gone
I tried to hold on to what was
Had to let it go
I did put up a fight,
But no use
I tried to hold on to what could be
It seems beyond my reach
I couldn't catch it
I thought I was holding on to what is
But the scars from tugging on something pulling away
Too many things pulling away
Had loosened my grip
And I found that I wasn't holding on to anything
Not even God
Forget hope
I do whatever pleases me at the moment
I'm not completely lost
I am slowly picking up pieces
Broken pieces
That seem big enough 
To amount to something again
I'm sowing seeds for the future
Just throwing them to the wind rather
Letting them go wherever
No energy to bother finding out
To exhausted to focus
Even my dad noticed
How indifferent I've become
To almost everything.
Maybe I just don't care
But I do :)
Funny thing
I'm not sad
Just a bit tired of deeper waters
And trying to wade through
Not knowing how to swim
One day I'll look back to this phase of my life
and think,
Funny, how I cud have been so hope-less
I long for that day.
Just felt like writing
I want to be understood
so someone will explain
So I can understand
Whats going on.


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