One octave or two ?

Noises ... Random words clashing in my head ...
My life just took another turn, for the better, I think and hope.
I will not be stepping into the next lane for another 5 days... yet, the fact that it is insight, I admit, has given me a considerable amount of relief.
All said and done, though I am happy about it, I am not completely happy. There's this feeling,looming somewhere above my head, like everything is not quite right. Something is missing...
Some thing is missing... and I can't quite put my finger on what exactly.
I  tried thinking about what it could be and I got squat.
I am happy and doing whatever, and if I so much as just remember the feeling, its like every thing else gets deflated immediately. Like a smile leaving a face abruptly... music become melancholy, jokes become boring and things in general become uninteresting.
Leaving me with a desire to .... curl up and sleep, in the hope of realizing what it is, in my dreams. If I don't, wake up wishing I were at a God forsaken island, so I can scream at the top of my lungs.
I wonder if something broke down a wall I had built long ago, and now I realize the void it was covering up... or... maybe, it is as simple as, I misplaced something. But what ?
It isn't one or two ...or even 8. Its just emptiness. Like standing in a pitch dark room, with no source of light, and your eyes are taking just too long to refocus. Or rather, like going to place, but not knowing what exactly you went there for.

When it feels like my dreams are so far ..
Sing to me of the plans you had for me over again ...

Oh yes, I just realized what is missing, unfortunately, its not one of those things you can hurry and go find, once you realize that you need to find it.
What I'm missing is ... a purpose.


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