And it rained :)

So there I was... watching videos late into a Monday night, after a weekend where I felt positively crushed to 10 levels below the dumps. In personal and my professional life... and hope seemed like a distant feeling, where one used to feel safe.
I sat there, alone and dejected, and rather empty.
The day before, on Sunday, after a long time, I had earnestly prayed for 2 things, really earnestly... but since hope wasn't raging in my system right then, I let it slide as I walked away from Church.
When the clock ticked away, and as sleep decided to pretend its a stranger to me is when I first heard it...
Initially I thought I hadn't heard it right, you can never say for sure in the beginning, then, within minutes, like it was trying to prove a point to me, it started pounding away. I had to go out and see for myself... Feel for myself!

It was raining...
It really was raining...
As I stood there lost in time, wondering why on earth it felt like I had forgotten when it last rained...
Why did I feel like I was greeting a long lost friend?
I stood there, almost lost in a trance of the sensation it created, the sound, the smell, the small spray of drops on me... the breeze .... that's when the lightning first struck and the thunder came rolling in soon after. I realized I had a stupid grin on my face, as I watched the rain pouring away.
It felt almost like I was running top speed into the arms of the one I most loved, and getting a nice big squishy bear hug, the kind of hug where you can just bury your face into the shoulders of the person, and all your troubles fade away into a distance, the world makes sense again... and you don't feel so lost anymore.

It might sound stupid, but at that moment, I felt I knew what love was again, because some things that had happened within and outside my home had made me doubt if I knew what it was. Love is coming home. Love is belonging. Love is when you can enjoy the silence. Love is when you don't have to explain yourself. Love is  when you understood how far between your lips and eyes, the smile reaches.
Love is when I can sit for hours, watching the rain arguing madly about something or just quietly lying on her lap as she stroked my hair.
Love is knowing that, even if your whole world crashes down, if she were there, its all alright really.

As I sat there watching, I wasn't defining love :) I did that now. Because when I sat there watching, I felt her, again, after quite a while. And so I knew she was around... my prayers may not receive "yes"s but I will get what I need... and .... she is around. That's all that matters to me :)

The first time I danced without a care in the world was when it rained... We used to do crazy things in the rain... and I had forgotten that briefly ... but now I remember  .... we loved the rain... together :)

The rain lasted about half an hour... a short time... but each drop planting another new seed of fresh hope in my heart. As humans, many a time, if we don't have hope, we have nothing, and she gave it back to me :) Like a batch of freshly baked cookies :)

It was the first rain of the year.

PS: less than 24 hours later, one of the 2 prayers got a YES !!! Is it awesome or is it awesome ???? :D

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