My word

I just finished watching "Eat, Pray, Love".
Beautiful movie :)

I read reviews stating that the movie was too far fetched. A woman with a fulfilling career and a husband who adores her is not satisfied with her life, and goes on a quest of self discovery. Reviewers called her an idiot, and said she was giving up what many people would kill for. I on the other hand, like Viola Davis, feel that those who call her an idiot are in fact jealous that they don't have the courage to cut all ties and take off too.

At the end of the year, she finds the word that describes her the best: Attraversiamo.
This is an extract from another blog.
Imagine walking down the 'street' with someone you love and you want to go to the other side but it's just too much to do alone.Attraversiamo. Let's cross over...together. Or better yet. You want to cross over but you just don't have it within you to say it. The person you love and who loves you says it. Attraversiamo. They say it because they know you and they want to walk to the other side with you. It's beautiful isn't it?

I'm on a quest myself. It might be silly that I'm already looking, when I'm in my early 20s, but its not about the age, i think its about learning to let go, of things you know you shouldn't be holding on to anymore, and finding out the person you are, after you've let go. 2 major steps. Don't know what I'm looking for, neither do I know where I can find it, but the last few months, I've taken many chances, and found a bit of healing for myself.

For starters, the reason I HAD to come back home:
I made a resolution in 2010, that that would be the year I finally started learning how to let go of her... the pain, and the insecurities. 2008 was a haze...I don't remember much of it. 2009, and half of 2010 went away at Trichy and Hyderabad, and I knew that it was finally time to come home. I couldn't let go of something I was hiding from. Besides, I had a promise to keep, the promise I made to her. I came back. It might have been a downward journey for me professionally, but personally, I think that was one of the best decisions I've made, and I don't regret one bit of it :) In the past few months, I've kept my promise, and I'm slowly learning to let go ...

The second aspect, I'm going to completely contradict my previous post (which was written at a moment of complete weakness and despair) and say, now that I'm going on so charmingly at my first major step, I'm going to find it in me to learn to trust people, not expect them to leave always, and even if they do ... no wait... I will trust them to stay.

Semper Fi !!!

And I'm still looking for my word :)


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