"I am here….at his office", she thought; as the security personnel prepared her visitors' pass. She was meeting someone there.

 He didn't know that she was there. She hadn't told him. She hadn't told him much the past few days. They had had a fight. It started off as something simple… she telling him about her New Year Resolutions, the one that concerned him; "I won't call you or ask you for anything till my birthday"

"Do as you please," he had said. "But you know you could ask me anything anytime. It was just that one time…."

She debated over whether or not she should tell him that she was there. Though they were in a fight right then, that wasn't the reason she was so apprehensive about telling him. A five year friendship would've overruled the possibility of that. She didn't want to tell him because she was scared that he would be embarrassed about her at his work place too.

In the five years they had known each other, he had never once, even for courtesy's sake  invited her to his place. And had always given a nonchalant "maybe next time", or "I'll think about it" when she invited him over to her place.

She decided that she would text him .He would've wanted to know. Even if he didn't want to meet her… that's fine. She had other plans for lunch, so it shouldn't matter at all. She texted him, keeping the message as brief as possible. He replied asking for more details.

He was a details man. Always had been. In more ways than one, they were complete opposites. She was impulsive, he was thoughtful. She said how she felt, then and there, he kept it to himself, deep within himself. She had always seen him of something as her rock, someone who was always there for her. The initial rift between them had started when she moved to a different place for her post graduation. He was possessive on a few levels, she never could deal with that side of him, so when a situation where his possessiveness could be come to the surface, he would ask her not to talk about it. She wouldn't, and he wouldn't prod. The new friends she made at college couldn't be explained to him, she understood it, but could also feel that they weren't as close as they once were. Maybe he did too. She didn't know…

She broke out of her trance, and gave him the timings of the meeting. "Finish your meeting, I'll meet you once you're done." "Hmm… so it's going to be the easier way today" she thought, more than a bit relieved.

Knowing him, she could bet a thousand bucks that he wouldn't bring up the fight even once. She wouldn't either, she needn't be told how uncomfortable confrontations made him. They had never ever had a fight face to face, he would just tell her that he is very uncomfortable with her expressions, she'd ask him to just drop her back, and they would calmly finish their argument over text messages. Hell, even when they had briefly dated, he never once told her that he loved her when they met. Only over phone…  But that was long ago, before she went off for her post graduation. When that had ended, with him telling her 'I don't think this will work out', she had cried just for a few hours. Her rational side too strong, to miss the logic of their argument. She wouldn't be the like typical girly girls and cry for ages, she was more sensible than that. She would never let anyone know that she felt like the last shred of hope had been ripped away from her, when all she could do was quietly watch. Convinced more and more, that anyone who loved her would leave her. She was a runner, give her the slightest idea that you might not stay for the full course, she'll take off before the appetizers reached, so she could continue to hold on to the only thing that she had, or thought she had, control over her life.

The security clearance took longer than she had expected, though that was a good thing because he was running a bit late, and she'd just received a text asking her to wait after she was done, as he would reach soon, so it would coincide with the end of her meeting.

If you asked her, she would say he was always running late. It took him 2 years to realize that what they had once had was too good to lose. But it was those same 2 years which had convinced her that she could not trust him like she once used to, definitely not with her heart. She had given it once, and he had politely returned it. So when he finally did get around to indicating that there were more feelings, she conveyed that it wouldn't work out. This time, this was the only time, when they had discussed something of such a heavy nature face to face.

She had changed a lot in those 2 years that she was away, he hadn't changed much, and resented almost every bit of change that was evident in her. They had always been different, their friendship had initially been based on a common interest which she had grown out of. But they had been able to appreciate their differences, at least a little bit, they used to try to understand and see the other person's point of view. That had changed… Now, the differences were just a constant source of the increasing number of misunderstandings they were having.

He had been more shaken than she expected, she even wondered if she had taken the right decision. A lot was happening right then, she had to move again, to a different city, for work, and as much as she regretted it, she couldn't be there for him right then. Probably the only time he had ever needed it… she regretted it long after.

She was away for 3 months, possibly the most turbulent 3 months of their relationship. He was still not over her, and she was having trouble coping with all the new experiences, in a strange new city, all alone for the first time. Neither of them was there for each other, when they needed the other the most, and each resenting the other for not being understanding.

She came back… it was all going great initially, after a long time.  They cleared most misunderstandings… at least those that were there on the surface... The banging on glass brought her back to the present. The security gave her clearance to enter, along with a temporary visitor's id. She cleared her mind, and went in.


Crossworder said…
This is going to sound freaky, but this one feels very close to the bone to me...I want to meet this woman. And this guy. And I want to ask them what they were thinking.

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