Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Have you ever ....?

Have you ever watched your life fall apart from a third person point of view... and feel not a thing, because it's not quite happening to you, its happening around you ....? 
Have you felt like everything you say to people who matter doesn't quite come out right... its either being misconstrued or being misunderstood? 
Have you ever wanted to shut yourself up in a room, and wake up 5 yrs later to see how the hell your life has turned out to be?
Have you ever desperately hoped that you could pick up your phone and talk to someone who is not a phone call away?
Have you ever wished that you bumped into someone on the road, who looks like someone who used to know, just so you could see them laugh...talk... look at you... see their eyes dance ...and hold their hands, to remember... ?
Have you ever wanted to remember a certain fragrance so bad it made you cry?
Have you ever wished that you could just cry, and someone would just hold you when you did?
Have you ever felt the tears welling up near your throat, as some stray thing you saw triggered a memory from long ago... and knowing you have to and will put on a smiling face, waiting for the feeling to pass, forcing yourself ... to... think of something else, when you'd rather just hold on to that memory... ?


Have you ever wished that you stopped being so demanding of some people. Just stopped this moment, then wondering if you ever had the right to, in the first place ?!


Have you ever wanted to start things over?
Have you ever wished that life had an undo and a fast forward button.... a pause button?
Have you ever wished that someone would understand what you can't explain, and when trying to, use all the wrong words?
Have you ever felt so angry that you wanted to hurl things, watch them get smashed into a million pieces... and not know what your angry about ?
Have you felt so emotionally drained and exhausted, you just wanna curl up and sleep?


Have you ever felt like you have no idea why you're doing what you do?
Have you ever felt ....like you wished you could feel something you understand?
Have you ever felt that you have no idea what you are doing to and with the world around you?


Have you seen something slowly fall apart... because of something you did... or didn't... and you feel paralyzed?
Have you ever felt guilt and and feeling that someone is not treating you right at the sometime?


Have you ever wished that time would just stand still for one goddamn moment so you can just figure out why?!


Have you ever wanted to scream out so bad, your throat is dry?


Have you felt like you are crumbling to nothingness, inside of you?


Have you just wanted to cease to exist... and never have?


Have you ever felt your heart ache, throat constricting because you wanna cry... no tears, and no reason why?


Have you wanted to go far far away, but no idea how far, far far away is and how to get there?


Have you ever felt that everything is fake and is a lie?


Have you ever put your Head down, and head felt so heavy, you couldn't lift it, neither could you find the will in you to want to do so?


Have you ever felt that you had no drive in life, what-so-ever?


Have you ever had no idea about what you wanted? needed?


Have you ever had too many questions, and not one answer?






Have you ever wished so bad ...so so bad that someone would just understand .... ?