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Showing posts from November, 2009

Post Decision - Cognitive Dissonance

Many times, we stick to certain decisions only because we made them in the first place, and we don't want to contradict what we have decided for ourselves. We are so afraid of proving ourselves wrong, fear of sounding shallow to ourselves and the society. To reduce cognitive dissonance, after the decision is made. Sometimes though, after the decision is made, we get so many reasons that scream at our faces saying that it was wrong. But for certain aspects, for example, for getting over someone you liked, the society has a set norm about how much time it should take for a person to get over certain feelings, "if they were true in the first place". Otherwise, we are branded as, like I said before, shallow... skippers ... and so on... Why is it so difficult for them to understand that, yes I felt something, but no, I don't feel it anymore, it's not a big deal. We're not on this planet forever, and I don't wanna spend half or more of the time here feeling oblig…

Aimless Wandering

For reasons unknown …Totally so ?I’m not so sureI feel like I’m caught in the middle, Of my heart and my mindThe throatExactly like which, I turn to whichever directionEither of them wants me toAimlesslyLostBut not particularly concernedThere has to be a clearing somewhereIt’s not dark yetSo I’ll waitWanderLook aroundOccasionally curl up and sleepEventually, someone will find meOr my daddy will come looking JHe always does J

I can't do it ...

You might be wondering why this is here. Why when you asked me with so much care and concern, to let go, why my response is here. I know I told you that I will try, that I will get attached. Relax. Live.But I couldn't do it, 2 days …I tried. I give up. For good reason. It was like opening the door when it's snowing outside, and I'm dressed in summer clothes. I'm not ready for it... I tried briefly and failed miserably. I ended up almost depressing myself. Not now... please.This is not the place where I should be explaining this. But this is the place I'm most comfortable at. All that you told me was very valid... but where I am right now I can't do it. Not here... not now. It might seem like I have a lot of time, I do. But I don't have enough time to be chasing the ghosts of my past now, neither do I have the energy to face the skeletons that I have to clean out from the cup board. I've learnt to live with them, and at many levels it'll be awfully l…

Thunder

I wanna tell you a story about a little girl, who used to hide behind her mother, every time there was thunder. Her mom loved the rain, and everything about it. The little girl loved the rain, and soon she learnt to like the thunder too, even then. Though, every once in a while, she used to reach out for her mom's hand, especially in the night, when the rain drops fell on the window sill and an especially bright lightning streaked across the sky. She had read somewhere that thunder follows lightning. She used to hold on to the hand when the thunder rumbled, and didn't let go till she fell asleep. Some days, when she wasn't sleepy in the night, or when night mares came her way, she did the same. Reached out, held and even played with her mom's fingers occasionally. Her mom had the softest hands.
Like all stories, this story had a twist too.
Suddenly, one night, she reached out for her mom's hand as usual and found that she couldn't reach it anymore.
Her mom had told…