Tuesday, July 21, 2009

As I see it.

The seasons pass
As I watch through the glass
From a distance
I wonder what's real and what is pretense
The seasons pass
The reasons dance
Evading reality
Bordering insanity.

The return of the moon, the wait of the waves.

This is another version of a previous post, written as soon as I got home :)



I went to the beach yesterday, after a long time ... with my dad .
the time we were there, almost entirely, he was engrossed in his phone conversations, and me with the water ... we walked parallelly though. Him on the sand, me on the water.
It was a new moon day, the waves were furious. I personally think they just missed the moon too much, I thought is was kind of sweet, how charmingly they do it with all their dignity !
So there I was walking , my dad and me occasionally exchanging smiles, waves and holding hands when I go to drier areas ...
It felt peaceful. I knew he was there , right there for me :)
and I totally, completely loved and trusted him.
Of course, I wouldn't tolerate the same behaviour from my boy friend (if he were around :P) The funny part is... I was thinking about it, I wouldn't have minded it from a husband ( God forbid I have one ! )
Double standards, you ask ? Well ... not really ... it's just a sense of security, which one failed relationship did not help enhance ( ;) )
The funniest part is ... I'm scared of getting that comfortable with anyone ... too much trust always meant too much power to hurt. Even the unintentional actions ... and the worst ... if they were to leave you.
With me, I know it will be complete, if and when it happens. (fingers crossed for it not happening! ) So it'll be all the more worse ( now you know why my fingers are crossed )
Would you willingly give someone else that much power to hurt ?
Or can you actually trust them completely and say they wouldn't ?

I wish I could be as sure of it as they waves were of the moon's return ... and yet they thrash so violently ....

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Sunrise at the beach :)

I saw the sunrise at the beach today.

Almost seems like a dream after waking up now.

But, the sunrise was today, and it was beautiful.
The sky, which was almost completely black with the exception of a sliver of the glowing silver moon and one star, one bright star very close to the moon … possibly not a star at all, might’ve been the Venus, shining in the darkness.

This day, my sunrise was going to be at the beach … I always thought that I wanted to see it there only because of how beautiful it would be … poets have written about the sun rising above the sea… painters have tried to capture it … so I wanted to see it too.

Being there, I realized something, it was more than just beauty, I mean, there was loads and loads of just sheer beauty too, but there was something more. There was something very elemental about the whole thing … the land, the water and the air. It was literally the meeting place of them all.

I got a whole new perspective to the phrases: Down to earth, Flying in the air, Becoming one with the water.

Then it happened, the sky turned aglow. Red. Fierce red. Not in the unfriendly sort of way though, especially as it was surrounded by pink, and then enveloped by a brilliant blue, the blue that’s better than the blue that comes to our mind when we think “sky blue”. It was pretty. The clouds spread out (though my friend claimed it didn’t), but the clouds spread out like rolling out the carpet.

And then the sun showed.

The red that seemed fierce before was nothing compared to this. It was a perfectly round (I know you might wanna go d’uh, but it … it… catches my breath every time I see it) and it seemed much closer because of the angle, making it all the more magnificent to look at. It rose behind thin strips of clouds.

The moon behind strips of clouds looks eerie and mysterious; the sun though just looks majestic. No other word for it.

They were all there now. The earth, the water, the wind and the fire. Each so different from the other. But each enhancing the other’s beauty and strength by mere presence.

It didn’t last very long, soon the sun rose higher, and the effect was gone.

But it seemed like the perfect way to start any day.

I got home eventually and went back to sleep.

She came in my dream.

It was a happy dream.