Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Growing up

Everyone says that as we grow up, we lose our imagination. We become cynical. We stop believing in the possibility of many things.
Recent events have led me to believe otherwise ... The deal as I see it is, as we grow up, we are responsible not just for ourselves any more. Our actions cannot all be written off to stupidity, as the results will affect many. We also understand boundaries better. Boundaries which were quite hazy when we were younger. Boundaries we didn't have the maturity to understand.

So it's not that we lose our imagination, but it's just that our vision is more well defined now, leaving not much room for "happily ever after"s after the prince meets the princess, rather, Prince meets princess, they fall in love, argue over things, see if they can resolve their issues, will their families get along ? Do their values match? Do they want similar things out of life? and finally the biggest hurdle of them all, the highest rod:
Will the SOCIETY accept it ???

I live in a collectivist country. So is the society around me is collectivistic too. I am an individualist. Till sometime ago, I used to think it's just my mindset that matters. But, I am now older, and cannot afford to be that naive anymore. I just realized that no matter what, the society plays a major role, even in some of my most personal decisions. I'm not going to let them do that to me, but I can't do whatever I want either. So I will do what I want, ... when the society finally decides to stop trying to make my decisions for me ... or I might give in. But I pray that they don't do that to me.

When I was younger life was like a bed of roses, moving along was so easy. Now that I'm older, I thought I can carry on, on my own. I am starting to realize that people were dethorning the roses for me. Now I have to do it myself, or walk carefully around them.

Adults are not cynical, they're realistic.
I don't know about others, but I am very sad that I have to leave my childhood days behind. I used to laugh when people said that before, now I understand.
But I wish I didn't have to.

3 comments:

Sivaprakasam said...

Good thinking and finely written. As we grow up, we tend to get mature, agreed. This is nothing but the conditioning to execute the various responsibilities at the age level and is not the thing to wonder about. We usually tend to yearn for long missed events. That yearning is not to be confused with the onslaught of maturity. Say had life been happening in the reverse order, by the tie u r a child u d be yearning to be mature. Thats life. Everything is incidentally a perception n a conditioning.

Someday's dreamer said...

no understand :(

Sriganesh R said...

Nicely written, Jenny. Isn't it true that we are social animals? Firends, relatives, church/temples, schools/college...all are social congregations. And we are part of it at every stage of life.

And considering that change is the only constant, we like wet clay get moulded by age, experience, expectations (ours and others)and general social norms. If the clay becomes rigid, the forces act on it with that much force. Rigidity also means brittleness.

It has all been done over centuries to bring normalcy in life and reduce chaos.

One should not loose oneself for society or loose the society for self.