Expectations and doubt

Another walk along the shore ...
With my dad.
Him, deep in a conversation in his mobile phone, and me with the water ...
We were walking parallely, him on soil, and me along the waves.
Every once in a few seconds we'd look at each other and smile , or we'd hold hands from our sides and keep walking along the beach.

The sea was rough that day ... there was no moon in the sky.
The waves were thrashing, like she... the sea ... missed the moon too much. Even if the separation was for merely one day, though she must've known for sure that the moon will come back.

As I was walking, I had a funny thought.
I was feeling perfectly safe with my dad there, but not just safe ... I felt secure. Loved.
Him on his call.
The funny part ? If I were (Big big IF ) walking there with a boy friend, and had he been on the phone for more than 3 minutes, I would already have been shooting daggers at him with my eyes. Definitely wouldn't have been happy with "behaviour" and oh, he would've known.
Women are irrational. Women in love, are insane. Totally.
The scary part ? If I were married (Big big big big ....IF ) I probably wouldn't have minded, just like with my dad. Scary right !!! I don't want it to become that ... taken for granted.
With my dad, it's different.
I don't want any other guy ... within that .... I don't want a guy in my comfort zone basically.

But I loved the night ... the waves raging ... you'd think the sea was supposed to be a calm thing ... tranquil. But no. Oh no. She doesn't even have patience for a little hide and seek !!! But you or I can't test her patience , only one can. We all know who :) I wonder what it must feel like ...
I'm fine just wondering, don't want to find out. Don't want to find out if the knowledge is worth it.


Have fun !

P.S. Oh yeah baby, I'm back :D


Chandy said…
So u are back with a BIG if! :)
Good thought. Thats why I hear guys telling - its difficult to understand a girl!
- Sugar Cube - said…
Welcome back! =)

Women are irrational. Women in love, are insane. Totally.

Lol! Kinda agree with that!
Sivaprakasam said…
Yeah u r right. But I remember you arguing with me that girls were a lot simpler than guys. That in itself is a confession of the underlying complexity. :P But what you are talking about is actually not complex. It is I believe, simply about committment. You know for sure your dad is gonna stay on with you. Your lover may not. A husband has to (pathetically). So it just amounts to committment. You know for sure that a relation is binding... n thats when we look at people in a different manner. If at all there s no committment from the other end, your view is bound to be optimistic. If there is lack of committment from your end, there is bound to a pessimistic view. And only a committment will lead to a neutral view. I think, you know this.. :)
@Chandy : Thank you :) But reconsider the difficult to understand women bit, you have to realize they have simple motives, and complicated reactions. Key is to understand the motives :)

@Sugar : Thank you very much :)
You should know all about women in love, and women with crushes. Thank you for the emotional support :D

@Sipa : For the girls complication bit, refer to @ Chandy, And commitment to a husband has to be strong. No doubt about it. But it's scary don't you think ? Giving someone so much power ... a stranger who doesn't know you . unlike a dad who's been there from the time we were born. Won't it be taking too big a chance ? On life?
What will decide if it's worth it ?
Doubt ....
Sivaprakasam said…
Good one Jenny. Reg complexity,I guess I would not want to take that topic further. :P But abt committment, we hardly have a chance to commit to something by knowing it well. Career.. Even a dad for that matter. You gotto to stay committed whatsoever. It would have been scary had your dad not been so good to you. So its just a way of life :)

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