Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sometimes ....

I've got to let you go,
I know that now
I think I believe
I can live with just your memories
How true is it ?
We sometimes feel that we've moved on
That those days of tears have gone
Then one day it crashes down
sadness that doesn't go away even after darkness becomes dawn
I thought I was over it
But I knew I never will be
I don't even think I want to be
Now I say
Like I've said so many times before
I mss you
There are so many things I've wished for
I night on your lap
Ask you a thousand questions,
to which I always thought you'd be answering for me
When the time comes...
the time never will
Just hold your hand and walk
Go shopping with you
Chop vegetables when you cook
Go riding with you 
Just talk with you ...
Now here I am,
Lost and alone
with only memories to keep me going
I tell myself,
this is what she would've said,
and do that
We both know I'm just cheating myself.
We both know it'd never be the same
I saw some movie
My frinds were talking
It rained
Somebody missed somebody
I was sitting at lunch
Math
And a hundred million things, every day
remind me of you
There are some days when I go for days
without thinking of you
Blocking you out
Doing all sorts of things, with not a moment to myself
Then when I sit down to think
I can only wish it were different
I wish I could pick up the phone and call you instead
I saw your hand writing at home the other day
People used to say ...
You used to say mine was almost like yours
I never read any of your stuff, after ....
Every time I find anything,
I save it
Like it's my life line
Keep it safe.
But I've never read any of them
Never had the courage
Every time I just think of you,
there's a tear waiting
if you were here, and we were watching some senti movie
I would've made fun if any one did that
You would've told me to try and be more sympathetic
That it does happen
Now I get it
But, you're not here to tell me anything.
There have been so many changes in my life
so many changes in me
Some that I know you'll be proud of
Some you'll feel sorry for
and some I desperately wish I knew if you'd approve
You always let me make my decisions
It's not .... It doesn't feel quite the same anymore.
Sometimes, late at night, I try remembering the way you smell
I couldn't .... 
I haven't been able to for sometime
As hard as I try
Please don't go away
Please don't leave me alone ....

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