Everytime you come by, my whole world becomes a bit brighter, the day seems more hopeful and I can always feel a smile spread across my face.
Everytime you come by, I know you're not going to stay for long, I know that the good bye last July was a little different from all other good byes we've told each other in the past. This one was more of a push, this one had more of certainity in it. More permanance.
Everytime you come by, I know that it's just a visit.
Everytime you come by and leave, it hurts to watch you leave.
It feels like a part of me is being ripped away, to leave an empty hole again. A hole which only you can and will fill.
Everytime you ask if I want you to come by, I say yes, I don't have to think at all. Though I know that when you leave, the hurt which I've learnt to get used to starts hurting all over again, like an old wound, not quite fully healed being hit upon.
Love is weird.
It makes you think hurt is ok.
No, not that. I'm sure it's not.
Love is weird.... because when you have the chance to see someone you love, how ever briefly, you really do become blind to all other details. Love is blind after all. It doesn't let you think.
It doesn't let you remember the numerous times before where you ended up hurting more after watching him go. It makes you feel like thats no big deal. It's worth it.
In the end, after he walks away, and you see him go, and your heart seems heavy, like it's cloudy in there, then you think Oh why ?
Why do I do this to myself everytime ?
But, if he were to call right then and ask if I wanted him to come over for another evening in a few days, right when I'm in the middle of realization, I'd say yes. No second thoughts. I'd say yes, and all the time till he comes, and when he's here, everything becomes rosy, and the whole world becomes a much brighter place!
Sounds stupid ?
Who cares ! We all know love doesn't take the most practical course!
I will miss him everytime he leaves. I will be sad.
But I do know he's coming back. He;s the coolest dad !
Love you daddy :)