Thursday, January 29, 2009

Gaming in real life

With the increasing number of people I know taking to gaming, I thought this would be useful, at least partially :)

Video game conditioning sways real-life choices

Wed, Jan 28 01:55 PM

London, Jan 28 (ANI): Lessons learned in video games like World of Warcraft, Guitar Hero or Mario Kart, can easily influence real life choices, says a new study.

Paul Fletcher, a neuroscientist at Cambridge University, UK, who led the study, said that as video games become more immersive and realistic, all involved ought to realise the potential.

"I don't think this is evidence that video games are bad. We just need to be aware that associations formed within the game transfer to the real world - for good or bad," New Scientist quoted Fletcher, a former gamer, as saying.

Earlier it has been shown that video games and virtual reality can sway our emotions, help treat post-traumatic stress disorder, and even trigger the same biological pathways as food and cocaine.

But Fletcher noted that till date, no one has shown that video games can train the kind of conditioned responses that underlie much of our behaviour.

Thus, he, along with colleagues recruited 22 volunteer subjects and found that volunteers who played a simple cycling game learned to favour one team's jersey and avoid another's.

And days later, most subjects subconsciously avoided the same jersey in a real-world test.

"Our research suggests whatever you've learned in the computer game does have an effect on how you behave toward the stimulus in the real world," said Fletcher.

He added: "The goal of games manufacturers is to immerse their customers as deeply as possible within the game. Of course, that can be for good or bad."

They also found that while violent games could have players more likely to lash out at specific people, associations learned in video games could be educational.

The study has been published in Journal of Neuroscience. (ANI)

Sometimes ....

I've got to let you go,
I know that now
I think I believe
I can live with just your memories
How true is it ?
We sometimes feel that we've moved on
That those days of tears have gone
Then one day it crashes down
sadness that doesn't go away even after darkness becomes dawn
I thought I was over it
But I knew I never will be
I don't even think I want to be
Now I say
Like I've said so many times before
I mss you
There are so many things I've wished for
I night on your lap
Ask you a thousand questions,
to which I always thought you'd be answering for me
When the time comes...
the time never will
Just hold your hand and walk
Go shopping with you
Chop vegetables when you cook
Go riding with you 
Just talk with you ...
Now here I am,
Lost and alone
with only memories to keep me going
I tell myself,
this is what she would've said,
and do that
We both know I'm just cheating myself.
We both know it'd never be the same
I saw some movie
My frinds were talking
It rained
Somebody missed somebody
I was sitting at lunch
And a hundred million things, every day
remind me of you
There are some days when I go for days
without thinking of you
Blocking you out
Doing all sorts of things, with not a moment to myself
Then when I sit down to think
I can only wish it were different
I wish I could pick up the phone and call you instead
I saw your hand writing at home the other day
People used to say ...
You used to say mine was almost like yours
I never read any of your stuff, after ....
Every time I find anything,
I save it
Like it's my life line
Keep it safe.
But I've never read any of them
Never had the courage
Every time I just think of you,
there's a tear waiting
if you were here, and we were watching some senti movie
I would've made fun if any one did that
You would've told me to try and be more sympathetic
That it does happen
Now I get it
But, you're not here to tell me anything.
There have been so many changes in my life
so many changes in me
Some that I know you'll be proud of
Some you'll feel sorry for
and some I desperately wish I knew if you'd approve
You always let me make my decisions
It's not .... It doesn't feel quite the same anymore.
Sometimes, late at night, I try remembering the way you smell
I couldn't .... 
I haven't been able to for sometime
As hard as I try
Please don't go away
Please don't leave me alone ....

Monday, January 26, 2009


Everytime you come by, my whole world becomes  a bit brighter, the day seems more hopeful and I can always feel a smile spread across my face.
Everytime you come by, I know you're not going to stay for long, I know that the good bye last July was a little different from all other good byes we've told each other in the past. This one was more of a push, this one had more of certainity in it. More permanance.
Everytime you come by, I know that it's just a visit. 
Everytime you come by and leave, it hurts to watch you leave. 
It feels like a part of me is being ripped away, to leave an empty hole again. A hole which only you can and will fill.
Everytime you ask if I want you to come by, I say yes, I don't have to think at all. Though I know that when you leave, the hurt which I've learnt to get used to starts hurting all over again, like an old wound, not quite fully healed being hit upon.
Love is weird.
It makes you think hurt is ok.
No, not that. I'm sure it's not. 
Love is weird.... because when you have the chance to see someone you love, how ever briefly, you really do become blind to all other details. Love is blind after all. It doesn't let you think.
It doesn't let you remember the numerous times before where you ended up hurting more after watching him go. It makes you feel like thats no big deal. It's worth it.
In the end, after he walks away, and you see him go, and your heart seems heavy, like it's cloudy in there, then you think Oh why ?
Why do I do this to myself everytime ?
But, if he were to call right then and ask if I wanted him to come over for another evening in a few days, right when I'm in the middle of realization, I'd say yes. No second thoughts. I'd say yes, and all the time till he comes, and when he's here, everything becomes rosy, and the whole world becomes a much brighter place!
Sounds stupid ? 
Who cares ! We all know love doesn't take the most practical course!
I will miss him everytime he leaves. I will be sad. 
But I do know he's coming back. He;s the coolest dad !
Love you daddy :)

Monday, January 19, 2009

What can I say ....

I'm gonna let you down
I know that now
Make you cry,
I know I will
Why should you believe
I would never leave
Or that I'll be around still

For everything I do
That would tear at you,
let me say I'm sorry now
You could save your soul

You could walk a while 
down the mystery mile

But if you choose to come back,
I will always be there 

Trying harder than ever
To love you forever.

Love Contradicted ...

I found proof... It's there below ... I don't know why I'm writing this here. 

Everytime someone says love doesn't exist, I defend it with all I have, firmly saying that it does. If someone tells me that love does exist I say, I'm not so sure.
I thought I was just being an idiot. Just some idiot who just wants to prove others wrong. The truth is that, it's not true. Atleast not here. There are 2 parts of me. One part, which belongs to my past, knows love exists because I've seen it with my own eyes, experienced it. Experienced the safety it gives and the wings of freedom it bestowed on me. But, the second part is part of the cynical doubtfull me, a part which does not believe... or is too scared to believe that I would find such love again anywhere else. It's too good to be true and more and more people say it doesn't exist- which doesn't translate to the absence of love, rather to the absence of loving people, hence to all those who think I'm cynical and pessimistic, all I can say is, I'm just scared I might have to go through the rest of my life without finding the love I experienced at home and in a few other places anywhere else, and to all those to whom I've tried to convince that true love does exist, it does, it's beautiful.

At home

I went home for eleven whole days after so very long.
First 2 days, I was just unwinding, then 7 days of glorious freedom, body and soul, literally liberated.
I wanted to write how that felt, I wanted to continue feeling that way. I even had a plan in my mind to do just that.  Plans, like theories are very interesting things, when sitting far away and making them, you feel like you can execute it perfectly and all will be well. So there I was dreaming of just that. The day of departure was getting closer, and my plan still a plan but the feasibility was questioned increasingly, till, now, here I am at coll. The plan tossed out the train window. 
The plan was for getting through this trime with some peace of mind, don't have THAT plan, lets see how spontaneous trial and error works :P

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

True Love - Proved !

"Is true love really true?"
I have been asking this question for just about 2 weeks now - till before that, I just thought it was, maybe a little far fetched, but I was sure is was possible and existent.
A discussion with 2 very good friends made me question it, as they were quite sure that there is no such thing, but as a consoling statement, said, "It would be nice if it does exist though..." That was the biggest blow. If they'd just stuck to their vehement "no, it's all farce, I would've been happy to believe my point of view and not consider alternatives, but they were trying to console me for my "childish beliefs". Then started my 2 week long search for the answer, I got just one firm answer confirming my original idea, and a whole lot of "I'm not really sure...", "I don't know, really..." and one "If you want me to leave, you can say so directly". After those very encouraging words, I'd decided to put off my search till I was older, when maybe, just maybe, if my childish beliefs stayed on amidst all the skepticism, it won't be deemed childish anymore.
But, guess what ?! Here I was sitting checking my yahoo mail, and guess what I see...
I got my answer, with proof !!! 
Here you go !

True love, passion does last a lifetime, says study

Mon, Jan 5 02:51 PM

Washington, Jan 5 (IANS) True love and passion is hardly ever dented by ravages of age, says a new study based on brain scans.

Brain scans of couples who have been together for 20 years prove that they are really capable of loving each other with the same intensity and passion as they felt in their initial relationship, until their last breath.

These scans showed that a tenth of them showed a burst of pleasure-boosting dopamine while looking at the photos of their loved ones, the same chemical reaction that young couples exhibit in the first flush of lust.

It contradicts a previous study suggesting that passionate love peters out in 15 months, after going through a roller coaster ride, called 'limerence' in psychological parlance.

Stony Brook University (SBU) researchers who conducted the latest study said that when limerence matures, it permits couples to enjoy 'intensive companionship and sexual liveliness'.

Simply stated, they are able to sustain the same level of romance and passion decades later.

Researchers concentrated on factors like passion, romantic love and lust. They nicknamed such couples 'swans' because swans, voles and grey foxes stay paired for a lifetime.

'The findings go against the traditional view of romance - that it drops off sharply in the first decade - but we are sure it's real,' said Arthur Aron, SBU psychologist.

Billy and Michelle Jordon, one such pair of 'swans', who live in California, still amaze friends and acquaintances by holding hands all the time. 'It comes very naturally,' said Michelle, 59.

So Ha !

It does! and I am going to keep waiting for it :D

Spread the luuuuvvvveee baby !

Saturday, January 3, 2009


A very happy New Year to ya !
This was the first time I entered a new year without being surrounded by any of my family ... blood relatives. No blessings from daddy yet, 3 days into the year.
His blessings are always with me right :)
But it makes such a big diifference... one night, it was 2008, and it was still what happened last year... now... it's what happened in 2007... 2008, completely ... I hated that part :(

I'll be home next week same time, feels good. Feels really good! For someone who wanted to fly, I like being rooted. I guess I'm a homing bird, always will be, and I love that bit :)
The new year promises a lot of change, not much sleep... people getting in, more effort to stay in touch rather than take for granted like before. I think it'll be fine ... 

As for 2008 ... some of the best, the scariest, the loneliest, the happiest, and a whole load of interesting feelings which I can really blog. I liked it. I refuse to love it, but I did like it.
I learnt a lot. I learnt a lot from others. I learnt about myself. I surprised myself more number of times than ever before. I had fun :) and I realized that some fears were ill founded, some memories can stay forever. 

Off I go now :)