I love you ... but ....

I was watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S today, season 1, The one with the candy hearts.
Ross and his ex wife meet at a restaurant, and luckily or unluckily end up being seated together. The laugh and chat, and enjoy each others company. All good things come to an end, so did their time together. When its almost time to leave, Ross holds on to her and tells her he still loves her, it was so ... easy being with her. She also tells him that she loves him...but , there's someone else now, and she's at a different phase of life ...

There are 2 aspects to what is mentioned in the first paragraph. 
Comfort zones ... knowing that something isn't right for you, still, you are used to being there, so you'd rather continue being there than trying out other new stuff.
Constraints in a relationship... simply explained by all the reasons you could give to complete "I love you...but ...." when thinking about any relationship.

Its like there's one circle close to us, inside which we are too scared to let others in, for fear of being hurt , that's the constraints circle.
There's this bigger circle outside, within which we have everyone we know , and love, loved or think we love. The wall is for those whom we love, This is the comfort zone. We don't want to let anyone go out of there, because we are scared of letting them go and not being able to make it on our own.

I'm not saying everyone is like this. I am like this. I spoke in the third person because it was simpler and easier that way... though, I'd like to get to a point where there are no walls. No constraints, no comfort zones, no fear in a relationship. Unbounded. In a way, I think I'm not the only one stuck here... a lot of people are searching for their balance, or their freedom in love. I hope I ... we find it :)


- N - said…
The comfort zone is more of a desire to never feel insecure in any relationship.But when you do not make any deliberate efforts to maintain it & let it all fall naturally - it makes you the happiest.
Its all about love after all.And its got to be genuine.At that point of assurance , there are no fears left.

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