Monday, June 23, 2008

Not a goodbye ...

Last night I went to the beach. It really mattered to me, because I'm going away for sometime ... 2 years . I might visit from there, but it will be " a visit" . So, when I still belonged here , I decided to visit my best friend ever - the sea.
I've gone there more than a hundred times in my life, but I will always remember yasterday's visit. She was aggressive like someone had angered her ... and badly at that . I like to think its because she didn't want me to leave . But the aggression was well contained , like always. It was there ... below the surface, if unleashed, it definitely would be bad , but she held it in check . Just like within me, I knew I had to go even though a part of me is rebelling because I don't know what I'm in for.
The wind was amazing too , not breezy , but comfortably windy . The only thing missing was the moon. I always thought they belonged together. The sea, the wind and the moon . When you're looking out at the sea, you can pretend , at leat for a little while, that the world behind you does not exist. That you are surrounded by the most elemental things and you know , in your heart, that you're content. That place places no demands on you, no expectations to fulfill, no fake smile for anyone. No pretense. You're you , the real you.
I stared at the waves rushing in for a long time, when the wind playing with my hair ... thats when the moon came out. It was right there behind the clouds all along ! It seemed to tell me, 'Hey baby girl, we ain't going anywhere ! You go do your thing, make us proud and come back!' . The moon was big, it was magnificent , it was silently glowing. I knew then that she was sitting right beside me and telling me the same thing. It wasn't a goodbye ...

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