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Showing posts from January, 2008

Spielberg within ?

ok .. I was writing my record (in my dream, like I don't get enough of that in real life!!!G came around in a motorbike and gave me this chewing gum and said it'll help me ( before I slept, G really wanted to help me write record ) and drove away.
So I went upstairs, there were 2 ppl there who I knew lived with me ( dream knowledge)
2 girls. Another guy and girl had come to visit , Dunno who, just 2 ppl.
While up there I realized that there was a book which had come free with the chewing gum, so I left it on the bed upstairs and came back down to continue writing.
(Dream knowledge) They 4 were reading it, and it said something about u will realize something u had to if u eat the gum first then some brain.
The guy and girl come down and ask me for that gum, since I don't like gum too much
I gave it too them fully without a second thought.
I was too busy writing
They took the gum and left
then for a long time it was rather quiet
I went up to go see what was happening ...
There…

On my way !

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Hey again !
I sound much brighter don't I ???? Hehe , ok , You probably think I'm approaching lunacy . Don't worry ! Guess what , I found my path too ! Now I'm just going to go right on and join the others, rushing a bit to catch up though ( that's why the adrenalin rush ! ) . The solution was right there all along . The phrase " sit back and realax" got a whole new meaning . maybe everything ain't alright , right now. But its definitely a whole lot more clearer !
Someone once told me that you're born twice, first is the day you enter the world , and second when you enter life after finding your purpose in it .
Later , a friend and I, we were trying to guess what the real purpose would be like . We didn't know ... but we were both sure that it would feel really good inside when we realize it.
I feel really good now too. I don't think I found my purpose yet. Ummm..... nope, not yet . But I think I'm on the right track definitely . Thats a…

closed in

Have you ever felt like there's no way to from here .... like everyone has found their way, but u're just watching their back. I feel like that now. Something I thought would be a definite failure turned out ok. I wasn't ready for that . My SOP is getting nowhere. I feel like I'm in a transparent box alone on a wide wide open space. I can see everything out there ... get nowhere. Nothing makes much sense.
I think somewhere deep down, maybe not so deep down I feel that if I take a step forward, I'm walking away from a part of my past. A very important part. And I don't want to let go. Not yet ...not now...not ever.
My rational mind is telling me I have to move forward. So is everyone else. So loud I can't hear my own thoughts anymore. I want to go somewhere I can be alone. Just me. Or maybe not.
I don't know what I want anymore. What I wanted doesn't look like its of much use now.
I know what to do now ... but I don't want to do it. Or maybe I do .